Ophia's Sister-Soul
Introduction by Sanyori Mon-Sequestra
The sum of our dreams can be strung into a circle of props, casting our life journeys in the light of a stage production. Within such a play, we may see aspects of the plot that characters nestled within the story cannot see. How many times have I witnessed this? The audience yells at the speaker on the stage, trying to make him or her awaken to some crucial fact, even though they well know that such commotion won't alter the story’s trajectory one whit. But the spectators just can't help themselves.
I hope you’ll forgive me for all this dramatist’s jargon. I was--am--a man of the stage, and I speak as my nature and training lean. And I’ve also been conditioned by my tenure as a Sophryne, a Wakeful Dreamer. There are times--particularly during historical moments of great unrest, tension, and change--when the dreams of a great many coincide, creating an even larger, overarching narrative.
I call that narrative living theater. Many others refer to it as myth.
And perhaps because I'm accustomed to blurring the distinctions between "dream" and "reality," I've been asked to present as clear an account as possible of my people’s most beloved myth: "The Twin Souls and the Parting of the Veils."
Within the context of this tale, the lines between dreams and reality are sometimes in stark contrast and sometimes scarcely discernible. On occasion, I daresay, they even seem to trade places. I've heard this is often a characteristic of twins. Who could resist the temptation to at least try it, to explore--to borrow a phrase from Colleen Addison's world--"how the other half lives"?
For art and dreams are life's twin blessings. They remind us of magical inner movements we can feel divorced from in waking--or forget entirely. Language itself arose alongside the dreaming life of humankind. Primitive peoples, like the Oskwai tribes you'll hear about, could gesture towards objects in their physical world. But for those more intangible feelings of possibility, magic and wonder that dreams awaken in us, words were needed.
How else could that wonder be shared when it couldn't be related to anything in our surroundings?
This was how theater, song, and all other arts began: early humans trying to convey what they'd experienced in their sleep-time excursions using sounds, gestures, and pantomime. That's why art will never die and never stop evolving. We humans will always keep groping for ways in which to express the inexpressible.
Those of you not native to my home world of Ophia--those who share Colleen's points of reference more intimately than mine--might feel that some information about my people, the Shaini, and the origins of Sophryne lore might be in order.
Ah, but I might rather try to catch a golden mahseer with my bare hands, were I currently possessed of fleshy hands, than try to satisfy this demand. You see, little history survives from our earliest ages. Only the most nebulous clues, clothed in symbolism, are preserved in oral traditions. That's because time itself was malleable. Many possible paths were explored. Each of these, in turn, thrust roots into their own 'pasts' and 'futures.'
During those earliest epochs, though, the Shaini tangibly felt and participated in Sorsajna, the fire of Creation. Later, when we no longer felt Sorsajna in the pit of our being, our speakers, the Sophryne, were obliged to find more demonstrable ways of evoking its essential pith. They had to almost confound and beguile the minds of their kindred in the hopes of awakening them to old inner knowledge.
It's a baffling circumstance, perhaps, but can you not understand our confusion? Once we'd inhabited a living dream. Then, suddenly, we were Ophia-bound, entrenched in material bodies, and subjected to the laws of space and time.
Many spirits began to inhabit this world we'd fashioned out of our love and desire. Again, one cannot measure such a process in millenniums and eons. Time itself was amorphous: more of a guiding ideal than a practical fact. It grew tangible as we became more deeply manifest, as we attuned ourselves to physicality and began to take on something of its form. We clothed ourselves in flesh as Ophia clothed itself in ground.
And we now had to survive, to pluck Ophia's fruits to sustain ourselves. Might humankind forget its source, forget that the world's manifest beauty was the natural outgrowth of our spiritual potency? Might we forget it was a reflection, albeit a fractured one, of luminous Sorsajna, from which we'd sprung? Could we retain the memory of our origins? These questions led to the birth of all the Sophryne arts, which reminded us of that boundless and nameless realm from which we emerged.
So, No 'hard history.' We can only approach any version of truth that might hope to satisfy our longing by chasing the wind trails of our most venerated myths.
But it can be empowering to recall that we all participated in Creation. From the raw stuff of life, we brought forth forms that could be seen, heard, felt, smelt, and tasted.
And sometimes, to our eternal enrichment, souls incarnate to remind the rest of us of the dimensions from which we departed. The twins of whom I’ve spoken were--are--two of the most renowned.
Such beings are naturally drawn to Sophrynism, to Wakeful Dreaming, a practice that straddles the lines between life and death, here and hereafter, time and eternity. Powerful Sophrynes can work such an effect upon the minds and souls of those with whom they come into contact that the recipients begin to break through the barriers of the world they know. They begin to perceive and respond to other realms of being. Such epiphanies can also penetrate the sense of separation that we often experience with one another.
The sisters' respective worlds were separated by a seemingly boundless gulf because they needed to experience, in their very vulnerable and messy bodies, that more pervasive separation I spoke of. Both worlds had lost their sense of magic, and the twins, Colleen Addison and Esperidi Mon-Sayquana, healers at heart for all eternity, instinctively looked for ways to patch the resulting rift.
Eventually, they found those patches by traveling through the heart of their mutual bereavement.
In the line of Ophia's tapestry, into which Esperidi became a vital thread, the Sophryne arts were perfected out of necessity. I know because I lived during that cruel and repressive era. It was perilous for any of us to speak our minds. We writhed within a spider's web, our every movement, word, and emotion sending tremors through its strands. To criticize the ruling body with even a whisper…One might as well trumpet protests to a lynch mob.
Imagine the life conditions of the thousands of Shaini inhabiting Ophia in this age. I, Sanyori, spent my formative years beneath the Weaving's eyes. I knew my community’s quiet desperation of. Our security came at too steep a price. But who among us would dare raise voices of dissent? The Weaving would expose us. Even plotting rebellion would alert the Cordonne. One could not even get aroused by the prospect of freedom.
What recourse had we?
Ah, but the Weaving, the chief instrument of control employed by the Cordonne, the ruling body, was still a physical construct within a physical world. It could never reach its fingers into the dreaming dimension. And so it was there that we learned to awaken, congregate, and communicate freely.
We who escaped Ophia during its last days, its decadent days, planned our emancipation while we slept. Shadowy omens and premonitions illuminated our way, foreshadowing possible perils and treasures. Abandoning the social compass, we oriented ourselves around inner nudges and whispers. They helped us to regain our bearings when we'd lost sight of all shores.
That's how we came to etch the essential structure of this Hall of Records, where I now inscribe these words and struggle not to feel overwhelmed by the responsibility bequeathed upon me. I must remind myself that a living myth is created by all who partake in it. This relieves some of the burden.
One participant in the drama, Colleen Addison, prefers to relate her part of the story in her own way. Thus, her tale will be preserved in her voice, sometimes with freshness and immediacy, sometimes in retrospection--all deciphered, of course, in the way every dream is: into vernacular and symbolism that will have meaning to the dreamer.
Colleen preserves her voice in a physical journal much as I do this more ethereal tome. Sometimes, she speaks in the present tense. Sometimes, she considers her life in hindsight. In either case, the denizens of countless worlds can now understand--and, in some ways, participate in--her journey.
The magic of this still astounds me.
But what about those who might be considered our adversaries? Surely, Jain-Toh, Karia, Konatep, and Tumoset, among others, would have no desire to be transparent about their deeds? However, a being's perspective can be profoundly transformed on this side of the Partition, particularly after they've come into contact with the larger entities of which they are a part.
The drama we call "Parting the Veils" touched upon many worlds, altering the mental landscape and changing the historical trajectory. This could not have been achieved without every participant's roles, even if their positions seemed destructive in the limiting field of time.
Do not forget that contrast is often our greatest teacher within these mortal worlds.
Those reading this testimony with at least a partial knowledge of its underlying myth may have grown restless by now. "Yes: We know what the twins achieved in the end. They forged a pathway between the worlds that allowed each to recapture its sense of possibility and wonder. But what did they actually do?"
With that question, the road grows nebulous indeed. How does one recount the travels of two heroines who walked as much in their dreams as in waking? How does one do justice to the supporting cast--again, forgive my theater training--when many of them aspired towards the same thing?
Despite such daunting challenges, I've done my best to limn the journey of Esperidi Mon-Sayquana and Colleen Addison and the forgotten art that united them, finally--at least, for long enough to alter the destinies of their respective worlds.
It isn't always comfortable reading. For many beings on both sides of the Partition, existence had grown unmistakably dark. Both worlds were purged in fire, floods, cyclones, and upheavals, whether one might interpret these in psychological or physical terms. And in the depths of their suffering, each world began to long, more and more, for the other.
By the fangs of Grandfather Serpent! If I persist like this, I'll likely be out of breath before I begin! But perhaps you can better understand my attachment to this story’s emotional sweep if you consider--and as you'll discover--that I participated in some of its unfolding events. By which I mean I lived them in a physical body.
Remember, always, that the distance between the worlds is, to awakened eyes, akin to the distance between our twin heroines: no more than the breadth of thought. Or, as my teacher once said, "Naught but a wisp of gossamer gown."
Now, to prove my dramatist’s salt, I must paint the scene for my audience. You must forgive me for allowing my voice to dissolve once I’ve accomplished this preliminary. It will soon be time for others to speak.
But imagine them, first, prior to incarnating into the world of form. They sit cross-legged on an ethereal plain of lustrous wheatgrass, caressed by a breeze, facing each other in circle pow-wow.
Think of this as a mental meeting place. Imagine that these six are spiders, weaving their homes, only in this instance they have agreed to allow their webs to enmesh. Such intimacy usually crosses the bounds of comfort for physical creatures, who react thus because they partake only tangentially in the love that underlies all Creation. But for these six congenial souls it is natural; they sense no infringement or imposition.
What ensues is a ritual--a kind of opening ceremony--wherein each player in the intended drama announces their presence and intention. Love has bound them through countless lifetimes. Now they’ve gathered so that one--the entity known as Sydwyn, can receive counsel from the others. For she alone must grow to adulthood without their presences to console her, in a world that will often baffle and even terrify her.
First, the woman’s twin sister speaks: “In the language of my people, the Shaini of Ophia, ‘Erawen’ refers to the motions of the spirit. They associate it with Raven. I’m drawn to that name.” She smiles at Sydwyn. “It likens our inner being to the movements of the wind.
“I will share a world with Sydwyn only briefly, and under another name. But when I am departed, I will do my utmost to communicate with her across the Partition. My Sophryne training will prepare me for this task.”
Erawen, named for the raven, is keen as her namesake bird. The knotted hair grazing her shoulders is equally dark. Anticipating a life to come in sun-kissed climes, her ethereal-body is swarthy and slight. As with the others--all save one, the woman who will be our lone ambassador to Earth, Erawen’s slightly elongated head and sharp ears identify her as Shaini.
With all the solemnity of a devotional chant, Sydwyn responds: “We dream of the possibilities we can weave from a universe composed of perfect love and yet is, at the same time, unfinished--and therefore ‘imperfect’. That paradox--when I was able to grasp it at all--troubled me through many lifetimes.”
Sajna, whose name signifies fire’s essence, is a scarlet-haired bludgeon of a Fae maiden with azure eyes. She makes a sly, sidewise glance towards the others present, then says, “I cannot share a world with Sydwyn, nor would I ever want to--not the world that she intends! Ruptured wedlocks, flesh-eating diseases, befouling of land, air and sea…
“One grows confused about sexuality and identity in adolescence, and then the entire question renews itself in mid-life…Nay! For madness of the magnitude of Earth’s humanity, one’s only options, methinks, are debauchery, lechery and savagery. One must either be numb or drowned in sensation!”
“Yes--much preferable to live in a world that has suffered a cataclysm!” Sydwyn chides her.
“Earth may yet!” Sajna says. But she soon sobers and closes her eyes. Inhaling slowly, she declares her fidelity. “I, in the being of Ashangtu Lanore, will ensure that Sydwyn never wholly forgets who she is or where she has come from. Whenever our dreams cross paths, at least.”
“I’ll remind her that the difficulties of physical life are like a dream where you fall and almost hit the bottom of the chasm before you realize that gravity is just a belief and you can quite easily fly,” Erawen ads.
Then, guided by the needs of the moment and their powerful mental rapport, Sydwyn’s five allies chorus: “We will never stop trying to reach you!”--and consider this so deeply that the landscape hums to the notes of their inner resolution.
Acturius, who speaks with my voice and being, is the first to break the silence. “Have you thought of a name?”
“Colleen Addison,” Sydwyn says. Then, as if this needs clarifying, she adds: “I’m not ready to jump back into a lifetime as a man.”
“Oh? So you know your parents?”
“Yes. They will be supportive, in their way, though they won’t understand me or my path. I will use this as incentive to break away from tradition and all that is sanctified and find my own truth.”
“A worthy aspiration!” says Sajna, whose heart has trampled upon all effigies deemed holy in Ophia.
“If you intend to be a healer,” Jormada, the rough, tousled snake handler says, “you’ll have to do more than grow comfortable in your own skin. You’ll have to translate your soul’s comprehension into symbols and expressions that the people can understand.”
“I’ll have a strong motivation this time,” Erawen says, “something that will splinter my personal world and open me to those other dimensions. That rupture is what Sydwyn and I planned together.”
“Damon couldn’t bear to live in a world without magic,” Sajna says. “Do you think Colleen Addis will fare any better?”
Somehow, when the woman says “Damon,” Sydwyn knows she’s talking about her, or someone also her. And she feels no conflict or contradiction.
“There are still ways to see through the mirage, of course--break through the camouflage,” Acturius says, sliding into his accustomed mediator role. “Dreaming. Channeling. Trance. The independence your consciousness enjoys from your body, if you can recall it.”
“There’s a lot of charlatans down there!” Sajna cries. “Be careful who you learn from!”
Sydwyn smiles back. “This is what I’ve wanted from you all: reminders of the risks. Not because I’m still trying to settle the question of whether or not to incarnate, but only to steel my resolve to actually do it.”
“You’ll forget again,” Acturius says, and this remark reminds her of many lifetimes during which she’d truly and deeply forgotten.
“Those expressions are painful, even harrowing, to think back on now,” she says. “But we have to embrace all of this; it is like stepping back from a canvas--I was a painter once, you remember? We step back and judge a portrait’s overall balance. You feel the aesthetic whole and then start to discriminate--maybe a little green coloration for visual interest here; perhaps sharpen the shadows or heighten the light there. Like our various lifetimes, it doesn’t evolve in a straight line.”
“You can’t get that sense of the epical sweep if you ignore any part of the canvas,” Acturius concurs, “and so you cannot ignore any expression that has become a part of your soul’s tapestry.”
“Of course. Well, unless it serves my purposes to become lost for a time…”
By silent consent, the ‘pow-wow’ reaches its end. Sydwyn and Erawen separate from the group, but everyone remains within the fluid, numinous landscape.
“It is unsettling that Bocuan’s not here,” Sajna said. “It’s not like him. In fact, his is often the loudest voice in these councils.”
“Do you mean you yet fail to recognize our other guest?” Acturius said. “Oh, you must be frightened at the prospect of what’s ahead--more so than I even anticipated!”
As if the dramatist’s words clarified the perception for her, Sajna was suddenly aware of a gentle lapping sound; her nostrils filled with moisture and the tang of salt. She smelled fish and kelp.
A wet boundary appeared just beyond the edge of her firelight. It kissed that edge and receded in an indolent peristaltic motion, like the exertions of a lazy snake.
The water stretched to the uttermost ends of her northern horizon.
Moved by an obscure impulse, Sajna walked slowly--vaguely aware of the flamboyant man-child following her--and stopped to kneel before the water’s edge. When it surged again, she cupped some and let it trickle through her fingers onto the wet sand.
“Maybe we’ll find better answers to the seeming contradictions this time, brother,” she whispered.
From the corner of her eye, she noticed Acturius knuckling his forehead in the ostentatious way he often delighted in. “And now you forget the pact! It’ll be ‘sister,’ this time.”
“Right.” Sajna trailed her fingertips across the water and mused to herself, “I suppose that will simplify some dilemmas and exacerbate others.”
Rising, she glanced towards the twins, who’d ventured beyond the firelight. Her conflicting emotions made her unintentionally brusque. “What’s keeping them?”
“Well, now, it isn’t easy planning joint bereavement, is it? Especially when--one hopes--it’ll be something sufficient to alter one’s life path. Oh, it’s easy enough to say, ‘This is the adventure my soul craves.’ But to step into it?”
“Yes,” Sajna acknowledged. “Sometimes I think they’re both braver than I am. Sometimes I wish we’d all agreed that they could shoulder this task alone. I could use some more rest and reflection.”
For a moment, they regarded the two retreating forms. Then the red-haired woman added, “I almost wish I could think of some way to dissuade them. Almost,” she emphasized, noticing her companion snapping her head up in protest.
“Well,” Acturius considered, “what they propose is something their respective worlds sorely need. Somebody has to step in and embody the myth. Who else would you suggest?”
Sajna raised an eyebrow. “You, to begin with.”
Acturius waved a dismissive hand. “I’ll play a bridge, a living link between past and present. I’ll serve more as chronicler than active participant. Those two will be the future.” He slowly shook his head, making even that simple gesture look grandiose, and chuckled. “It is amusing, isn’t it--talking about Time in a place like this?”
“Indeed,” Sajna said. “For the most part, I’ll forget about the both of them the moment I’m clothed in flesh. And yet here I stand…and worry.”
“Erawen is going to need your fire,” Acturius said. “Both of them will. Does your will suffice”--he teetered on the edge of a taunting grin--“Red Buffalo?”
“They’ll both need your flair and seasoning,” the other countered, ignoring her friend’s baiting. “Spring means little without autumn’s contrast.”
But her attention sprang back to the twins and her voice cooled. “During previous lifetimes, they both felt smothered by a sense of heavy futility that never lifted. They never found a way through. Their souls crave this adventure, this quest to wed the worlds.”
Sydwyn thought about her personal stake in her vision of futurity. Or was it the past? She’d seen her likeness graven in stone and carved upon tall wooden poles. Humans called upon her in moments of anguish, confusion, and fear. They marveled at her somewhat elongated head, sharp ears, and long, slim fingers. There were fearful whispers and frowns. But many associated her image with mercy and compassion. She was the goddess who heard the entire world's cries and held forth the healing balm with hands of grace. Such was the myth in store for her.
“This is a Sophryne’s journey we’re embarking upon,” Erawen told her when they reached the firelight’s edge again. “But it’s in a land where there aren’t even Shaini, much less Sophryne.”
“Teaching inner knowledge to a populace that’s in danger of wiping itself out,” Sydwyn said, “and it seems the clock is ticking and the chances of averting disaster are slim…”
“We’re about to clothe ourselves in the camouflage once more,” Erawen said, “just as we, as a practicing Sophrynes, once learned to throw it off.”
“How confident are you that we’ll prevail this time?”
Erawen shrugged. "Only a part of who we are can ever be physically expressed. Whatever personalities we clothe ourselves in, we will sense our greater reality to some extent. But our personal leeway is as unbounded as our imagination. In some lifetimes, we clearly apprehended the source of life. Others passed from birth to death in utter ignorance. Their days were shadowed.”
Then, overcome by the force of her emotion, she stepped forward and embraced Sydwyn. “I will find a way to reach you!”
“You always do, sister soul,” the other returned.
Then they laughed in harmony when they heard Sajna call out, “Don’t forget to dance and get intoxicated--and make love!”
But Erawen’s laughter was clipped, and she hugged her heart. Sydwyn was beginning to fade.
Sajna glanced over her shoulder and saw that Acturius was already gone. “It looks like our beloved playwright has woken up.”
Erawen pulled away from the space Sydwyn had occupied and faced Sajna. “I’d say it’s time we did, too. I want to get deep into my meditations this day. I must soon journey across the Partition and be there for the birth!”
“Hers or yours?” Sajna asked, her laughter dancing like a lick of flame. “Fortune favors you this time: You don’t have to choose!”
This remark, however, made Erawen recall the other part of the bargain she and Sydwyn had sealed. We’ve already chosen, she thought, and felt a momentary, frigid gust that made her long for her sister, whom she sometimes called the south wind. Without another word, she faded from the dream-moot.
Sajna, noticing Erawen’s form dissolving, moved towards the fire circle. She paused to smile fondly at the bearded man still kneeling in the sand: the last remaining participant aside from herself, at least in human form. Bocuan’s ocean hair had dampened Jormada’s knees.
“Any parting words of inspiration?” Sajna said, with a timbre of teasing sparkle.
In all likelihood, the two would not become lovers in their Ophian expressions to come, but they’d consummated their bond many times in the “past.” Some of the sweeter memories of those sojourns prompted Sajna to watch the logs feeding the flames--or being consumed by them, depending upon one’s point of view.
“Remember the serpent,” Jormada said. He made a slow, thrusting gesture with his hands: It Sajna of the insight she’d received while watching Bocuan lap the shore.
“There’s no escaping its rhythm,” he said. “If you’re going to take on a body, you’ll learn to dance its dance. Chewing. Digesting. Swallowing. Taking one step back and two steps forward at each stage of your journey. And let’s not forget sex.”
“You know I seldom can,” Sajna said, flicking her tongue between her teeth in imitation of the serpent he described.
“But for you and Erawen, this time around,” Jormada said, “that motion is also the secret of your joint power.” He repeated the serpentine hand gesture. “She is the gathering coil. You are the surge, the spring.”
Sajna allowed herself some open flirtation: The indulgence blunted some of the edges of her fear. “Well, sir,” she said, “If we can master the serpentine motion between us, what do we need you for?”
“Well, you’ll need something to slither over, won’t you?” He repaid her with a lascivious smile. “Unless--” He pointed back to where Bocuan still lay in peaceful resplendence--“you want to be a water moccasin. Or unless you’re curious how far you might get, wriggling in the void.” He mused over the image for a moment. “I might enjoy witnessing such a spectacle, actually.”
Sanja leered back at him. “I think you enjoy watching me move, whatever the context. Remember how transparent our minds are to one another in this place. Don’t embarrass yourself trying to deny it.”
“Saucy and ribald to the end,” Jormada said. “Or the beginning, I guess we ought to say. Are you certain you’ll not consider being born in Helwen Hive? There’s still time.”
“Their ways have grown too predictable for my blood,” Sanja said. “A planned orgy never carries the heat of one that catches its participants unaware.”
“And yet…given the circumstances you’ve chosen, you’ll likely be celibate for the greater portion of your life this time around.”
“That’s a big part of it,” she acknowledged, shuddering a little at the prospect. “My people will know the honey and nectar of Ophia, only to feel it snatched away. And I’ll know the utter depths of my passion but find no outlet or object. All this, in the hopes that, once I find my focus…”
The man shook his head slowly. “May the pillars of both worlds tremble upon that day!”
This time, there was nothing suggestive about the way Sajna smiled at him, only deep fondness cultivated over countless lifetimes.
“I am saddened that our paths aren’t liable to cross this time.”
Jormada shrugged. “Yes…well, there are always dreams.”
“Dreams,” she mused. “Yes. I intend to become a more proficient Wakeful Dreamer now than ever I achieved before.”
Her stare sharpened, suddenly galvanized by comprehension. “That’s one of the main purposes of all this deprivation, isn’t it? It’ll be an impetus. For the rest of the land as well. When you’re constantly surrounded by opulence, comfort, and privilege, dreams can seem frivolous indeed. But when you’re bereft of all that, and cannot even know when you might feel the very ground bucking beneath your feet like a herd of maddened horses--or an enraged serpent,” she added for her friend’s benefit, “well, then you ignore dream guidance at your peril.”
The squatting man appraised her in silence for a while, and then nodded as if he’d surmounted an essential crest of doubt. “I think you’ll do well, Sajna. Consider: Bocuan has probably lapped this dream shore three-score times since you and I began talking, and not once have you thought of your fear.”
She stiffened and cast him a look of mock exasperation. “And so you see fit to remind me of it, eh?”
Then she glanced back at the space the twins had occupied. “Even more rests upon their shoulders. We’re all going to forget so much, but if they are unable to recall anything at all…”
“It all unravels,” the man acknowledged. “But don’t you derive a certain thrill from such gambles?”
“I have,” she admitted. “But I long for something different this time. We’ve all been acquainted with a sense of futility. Some of us have even drowned in it. This time, I want victory--no ambiguity.”
Sajna let Jormada see, in her eyes, the fire for which she’d been renowned in other places and ages. “Not just for the survival of both worlds, but so I may know it for myself.”
“Clear a space for us, sister,” the man said. “For what we intend to build together, many old altars must first be razed, and a ton of rubble removed.”
But he was not blind to her underlying distress, and after a moment, he added, “Be at ease, my friend. Our worst outcome will be to fall short of what we dream to accomplish and then try again, in a new body and time. Sarpienta does not bemoan any layer of skin he sheds.”
“Only you could make becoming a snake sound more and more appealing by the moment,” Sajna said. “But you’re right: I have to focus.” She nodded towards the place Erawen had vacated. “She and I will be entering Ophia at the same time, and she looked much more…prepared than me.” Much more resolved, she added to herself.
Of course, “Time” had no meaning in this dimension. Her use of the concept was a lingering vestige from her last incarnation. But hers and Erawen’s joint intention was very crucial, regardless of hours or years.
I do best when I’m thrown into the fray, Sajna reminded herself. If I can but match her courage for that first leap, the rest I’ll rise to when it confronts me.
“Blessings of Sorsajna go with you, Jormada,” she said, suddenly somber. “The family you have agreed to be born into…Ah! You might be the bravest of all of us, or the one most blissfully ignorant of peril.”
The man merely shrugged, a movement that reminded her of shifting mountains. “I see no other way. Someone must erode that foul edifice from the inside. Besides--” He nodded again towards the watermark. “I’ve agreed to no greater sacrifice than what Bocuan will eventually embrace.
“In fact, none of these comparisons signify. All of us have a difficult road, and none of us would choose otherwise.” He laughed. “We’ve had plenty of opportunities to do so.”
Noticing he’d begun to relinquish his hold upon the dream-moot, Sanja sought to convey her complex gratitude. “Farewell, my brother…son…mother…lover.” Her voice betrayed the emotional ambiguities entwined with some of the lifetimes she referred to. “I would embrace you, but I fear that might sap my resolve.”
So let us dance this dance again, she thought, once he’d departed, though she knew she wouldn’t be jumping into the fray immediately. An earthly drama needed to play itself out first. But her inner eyes were fixed upon Erawen, superimposing the leagues and hardships they’d chosen to undertake together in Ophia once the woman’s earthly sojourn was complete.
Just remember that, this time, you’ll be learning a few steps from me. Try not to judge me overmuch if I occasionally step on your toes. You ought to know by now that fire is seldom a gentle teacher.
Now, Sajna wished Acturius was still present. She longed for the affected soliloquy he often offered upon occasions such as these. Denied his presence, she could only conjure his image, face it towards the space that the twins had vacated, and spread her own arms wide. Then she intoned the words in his stead:
"Oh, passion, vitality, energy that moves the worlds in their orbits…I go where you call me! I'm ready to be clothed in new flesh and surrounded by unfamiliar hills and valleys. I'm prepared to look upon the stars as if for the first time and rejoice in learning anew what was always known!
“I am ready to live again!”
Last of the Wakeful Dreamers
Two traders conversed across their breakfast fire. They were natives of Lanore, a province renowned for its artisan foods and crafts, and the last part of an ox wagon caravan en route to Farsilane, Ophia’s new capital city.
Marek was a lean, wiry fellow with rawboned cheeks and a good-natured countenance. His companion, Hale, was a head shorter--stout and swarthy--and his fair hair contrasted with Marek's black.
Marek produced some of the good Lanorean tobacco they'd obtained and then, with a shrug, retrieved his pint of whiskey as well.
“Say what you will about the hour,” he remarked. “I’m in no rush to feel the Weaving grazing its oily fingers along my spine again, and even less eager to do so sober.
"I'm just happy that spring's coming on." After taking a swig, he passed the bottle to his companion and then puffed on his travel pipe: a single piece carved out of a corn cob, scarcely longer than his thumb, and lacking any decorations. "Although I can't really complain, seeing as the winter was unusually mild for these parts, and ended sooner than any of us expected."
"True," Hale said, wincing his appreciation for the draught. "And the previous summer was the hottest we've experienced in a long time. Is it not strange, then, that no drifters made it down into our country this last year, given that the conditions were more favorable than they've been in a generation?"
"Well, I suppose it's typical that we get some people who survive the crossing," Marek said. "Would we know anything about the Chonnen Empire if not for the stories newcomers bring? But there's been no big migrations since our grandparent's time.”
“None that were so organized, no, but always there are those who escape, even if they're only wives and children abandoned in the steppes because men refused to be conscripted. But this last year, no tidings from anywhere, just the faintest of rumors.”
Hale measured his friend a moment and then risked his gambit. “I surmise there have been no newcomers to Ophia because the way is blocked by a gathering host that’s just been waiting for a spring thaw."
He rushed to counter the skepticism rising to his friend’s lips.
"Think of it! True, the distance is far--and treacherous. They’ll have to move food and supplies through that nearly impassable northern waste and over two mountain ranges. They'd be unable to communicate with the Motherland for long weeks. But all the provinces on this continent are Chonnen’s pickings if they move now.
“Centuries living underground have made us complacent, my friend. Only Farsilane has an army. The natives, well, they're deadly enemies in what battles they do fight. But they've never united long enough to wage a successful campaign against anyone."
“Ah, yes.” Marek had caught the trend of his friend’s thoughts, and the implications chilled him. Amid the general apprehension consuming the provinces, scattered voices of dissent were also heard. Who had actually seen this alleged army? But here, in the windswept plains of Lanore, far from the bountiful orchards and vineyards, with the peaks of Mon-Kublai just starting to shadow the western lands, such self-protective skepticism rang hollow.
“They intend to stay where they have a secure supply link with the Mother Country and lure us to where they are,” he said. “Once the defenders of this land have been destroyed, they can move leisurely southward, appropriating what provisions they need from the helpless towns and Oskwai encampments along the way. Ophia’s conquest would be swift unless--”
Just then, a tan appaloosa trotted past bearing an old woman in a deep green cloak. She sat rigid on the animal’s bare back as if negotiating the trade road to Farsilane as a visiting dignitary. Her thickly knotted hair reminded Marek of a bundle of gray eels. Noticing the men’s regard, the woman glanced up and waved, her face betraying nothing of her inner ruminations.
Watching her retreating back, Marek muttered a snatch of invocation associated with Shiya-coqui, the last Wakeful Dreamer, which every schoolchild in Farsilane still learned despite the Cordonne’s discouragement.
"This body is composed of air and communes with the winds.
This body churns with water and froth, emulating rivers and seas.
"This body arises from Ophia; to Ophia, it shall return.
“Bu it houses a fire that can never be extinguished.”
Utterly bemused, he shook his head.
“I thought she was dead,” he remarked.
#
Occasionally, Esperidi Mon-Sayquana had dreams that were as vivid--and banal--as her conscious hours. Usually, if she could manage it,--and the universe typically conspired to make it so--she would try to enact those dreams, retrace her nocturnal steps in her waking environment.
Hidden dimensions of the dream's significance would then become apparent, perhaps through a (seemingly) chance encounter with a hummingbird that reminded her of her connection with Sorsajna, the fire at the heart of existence. At the very least, it would bathe an otherwise dull morning in a mist of eldritch wonder.
This autumn morning, her last dream before waking led her to Farsilane's museum and library. Esperidi didn't expect to discover anything significant within the books and scrolls. After all, they contained no messages the Cordonne did not sanctify, no stories that did not constitute part of the mythos that the City Mothers and Fathers sought to perpetuate.
But this was not the point. Following a dream's footsteps could lead to messages the Cordonne was unaware of and could never hope to control.
With twists of sometimes comical and sometimes disconcerting deja-vu, Esperidi revisited a cubby filled with parchments inscribed during Ophia’s sixth Season. She positioned herself to mirror her recollected dream body, grazing her hands across the supple vellum.
She was distracted by an almost rhythmic clip-clap of knobbed wood upon the smooth marble floor. She peered around the corner, seeking its source.
The old woman now sitting at one oval table looked uncomfortable in the smooth spoon-shaped seat like it was made for younger bones than hers--a newer generation that disdained her own.
But Esperidi drew back with a hiss. Being here had jogged a memory that drove the old woman out of her mind. Papa had been in her dream, too--during the only portion that seemed too fantastical to be an ordinary, sunlit event.
They'd been walking along Farsilane’s outskirts until they reached the river. Somehow, they parted there, winding up on opposite sides. Esperidi kept shouting to Pallides, but his eyes were fixed and unwavering, much like his life.
It did not occur to the young woman that she had to leave the library until she realized it was too late. Pallides, City Father of the Cordonne, entered at the double doors…
…But in this material echo of the dream, Esperidi was not the object of his thoughts. Seizing upon this unexpected deliverance, she darted back to the cubby, standing with her back to the oval chamber. A couple tall, potted ferns shielded her from Pallides’ primary line of sight.
She schooled herself to invisibility. This was instinctive for a woman, who, since childhood, had questioned her right to take up space within the universe.
She sensed her Papa approaching the old woman; a quick glance revealed his chiseled face and his posture taut with righteousness, his brisk strides parting the air like he owned it. He’d donned a tight leather tunic and skirt of overlapping rawhide leaves which Farsilane’s soldiery favored
He spoke without greeting or preamble. “If not for the legends that still cling to your name, Shiya-coqui, I would have rejected your request outright. You know what we face in this city--what all of Ophia faces. Frivolity is a luxury no City Father can afford.”
"Then it's fortunate for you, Father, that I've come for no frivolous reason," the woman said. Her voice’s cool but forceful susurration belied her apparent age. "And maybe you harken to me now not because you seek a legend but because you seek wisdom at the behest of a more discerning part of you.”
"The Sophryne order provided one of the great pillars of our knowledge. We must not fail to--"
“Let us dispense with titles, Pallides,” she said, knocking on the marble three times with her stick for emphasis. “Hear, instead, the counsel of an old woman who has nothing to gain from lying to you. You plan to send your forces to intercept the Chonnen army as they cross the land bridge…”
Surreptitiously, Esperidi turned her head and saw Papa stiffen. "Any plans to meet the threat of invasion are the business of the Cordonne. I must ask how you are privy to--”
“Tut, Tut! Now who's getting us mired in frivolities? We have no time for this. I know well enough what you and your fellow Mothers and Fathers intend. You would utilize Sacred Timbre to drown Ardhid, the continental bridge, as they seek to cross it.
“For the sake of Ophia--for the sake of Earth entire--you must desist.”
"The decision is not mine alone to make,” Pallides said. “But even if it were, I would not choose otherwise. The Chonnen do not possess our lore and might, but they compensate for those inadequacies with numbers and training. We will be the feller force however this conflict unfolds, but this way, we can spare countless Ophian lives.”
"They could be spared anyway if you led them to the underground refuges: Elmicora. Oh, I understand the strategic sense of what you're doing well enough. With one stroke, you could eradicate your enemy with no casualties.
“Only there would be a casualty, Pallides: the integrity of Ophia's balance. You cannot rouse the invisible forces of life on such a scale without dire consequences. Have the storms and upheavals you've already witnessed not taught you this?”
Pallides seemed to hear only the implied challenge to his rectitude. “You were critical of the Weaving when first we began constructing it,” he said. “Now I must ask how you avail yourself of the same breadth of vision. If you can watch people and movements thus, how is your divination any better than the scrying the Cordonne does with the Weaving’s aid? Is this not equally--as you’d describe it--intrusive? Is it not as much a violation?”
“Your mind would be eased, were you a practicing Sophryne,” Shia-coqui assured him. “You'd see how we view nothing without the consent of those viewed, whether they be a man, frog, rock, or cricket. The vision is a cooperative venture, acceded to by all those involved. Or, perhaps you could say it is a vision that forms around all who resonate with it--as if we were all looking into the same gigantic mirror. And so you cannot force anyone to disclose knowledge to you any more than you can force them to share your dream.”
“If the Sophryne order could achieve so much, why did it wane? Why are you the last practitioner left?”
“Sacred Timbre,” Shiya-coqui said. “Oh, we can all more easily realize our desires in waking. I’ll grant you that. But these expedient means have not been accompanied by increased wisdom and discernment.
“The Cordonne…Well, you seek to contain the forces that’ve been unleashed, which is like trying to contain all the steam from an evaporated lake inside a glass jar. And with the Cordonne to funnel it, Sacred Timbre can turn nature herself into a weapon more devastating than anything we've witnessed, worse than all the other scourges in history.
"Ophia has many agencies to maintain her balance, but she cares for all creatures. If we unleash her forces, we'll have to contend with the consequences just as the Chonnens do. Nothing within Sorsajna will take sides in a conflict between humans.
“I tell you, there are other ways to meet threats than using Sacred Timbre to destroy armies. If you pursue that course, well, that kind of fire burns even the hand of the wielder.”
“Maybe that was true for the old practitioners of your order,” Pallides said, “but we've progressed a long way since those days.” He swept a hand to encompass the library books. “Perhaps you should study a little and make your knowledge contemporary.”
“Oh, I doubt that human motivation has changed much since I've been away, dear Father,” Shiya-coqui said. “Know this: To the extent that any beings forget that the world is their mirror, they’ll rely increasingly upon tools to manipulate and control that world. Sacred Timbre is the ultimate expression of this. It's given you all the keys to life and death. And you think that the Cordonne can arbitrate this, that any City Mother or Father can shoulder that responsibility?
“Have you not considered how you have attracted this particular peril? Ophia has become obsessed with corralling its citizenry, getting everyone to march in step--of ordering the world. And now it has attracted a horde of adversaries--the Chonnens--ruled by similar thoughts.
“I certainly don't believe that my old order, as you call it, is beyond reproach. But if there's one thing of which I'm proudest, the Sophrynes--You can scour your histories and verify this.” She waved at the same row of books he'd indicated a moment before. “We never pitted ourselves against. We didn't have enemies. And that is the message I most want to convey to you now. When you embrace the way of violence, the repercussions are never one-sided.
“To render Ophia herself a weapon? Who among us is possibly farsighted enough to guess where the repercussions might end?”
“Too long have we ceded the sunlit lands to the primitives,” Pallides argued. “You forget the threats that necessitated the formation of the Cordonne in the first place. You forget Sanjesota and his Horde. We do not have the luxury to choose who our enemies will or won't be. And we are the protectors of the Shaini. Our people. We're entrusted with preserving our way of life. To that end, we will bring every available resource to bear.”
“Your vulnerability, sir, was never due to a lack of power,” Shiya-coqui said. “It is lack of comprehension that foils the Cordonne.”
“We will bring the storms under control, just as we have brought our cities and Hives under control,” Pallides said. “There is nothing in nature that cannot be harnessed, and we possess the keys now. We have an advantage that our forefathers and mothers never dreamed of. We've ushered in an era of peace for the first time in recorded history. Even our children can learn how to manifest their heart’s desires.
“My gifts run along administrative rather than prescient lines. I would leave the grander vision of Ophia’s future to more imaginative minds than mine. But all Shaini, regardless of their position, can relax now that the Weaving connects nearly all parts of the capital. Soon, hopefully, it will bind all of Ophia: a ubiquitous, protecting presence.”
Esperidi fought down a smile, noticing how Papa swelled with pride, stiffening as his mind projected the grandeur beyond the library walls. He sought to convey that awe to Shiya-coqui.
And Shiya coqui, hearing him speak with such conviction, said, “Maybe I’ve mistaken the purpose of my mission today. I’d thought to walk into Farsilane and deliver the Cordonne a message, but perhaps the real lesson here is for me.”
Straightening, she braved the Father’s probable wrath. “Like most leaders who veered onto destructive paths, Pallides, I know you do not perceive yourself as evil. Much the opposite. You’re driven by ideals, just as I am. You pursue your goals, or so you think, in the service of all humanity.”
Watching him bristle, she relished a grin. “Perhaps I give you too much credit. I should say, ‘for the sake of all Shaini-kind.’ But my point is this: I suspect that your actions originate from good intent.”
Pallides looked like he was fighting the urge to spit in the woman’s face. "I should have listened to my first instinct and not bothered with you at all. I concede that the Sophrynes' legacy must be respected, crone, but your arts are antiquated and redundant. What need have we for Wakeful Dreamers? We have the means to mold the fabric of reality to the shape of our desires."
And Esperidi watched as Papa spun on his heels and strode towards the door. But Shiya-coqui’s shout halted him before he reached it.
"You need dreams to show you the shape of the precipice you race towards!"
But this appeal only delayed Pallides’ departure long enough for the man to shrug.
#
“Ah, the sensation of something within this present moment demanding my attention is more insistent now,” Shiya-coqui said, with the affected air of a stage performer in the midst of a soliloquy. “I chastise myself for not identifying it before. It’s the girl lingering in the shadows trying to be invisible. Pallides’ daughter! Am I so distraught and distracted that I forget a dozen dreams?”
Then she called in a more natural cadence. “All right, girl--he’s gone. You can quit hiding in the alcove. You are his daughter, aren't you?” she added, tone implying she already knew the answer.
Emerging almost against her will, Esperidi wanted to scowl but softened her expression out of politeness. "Indeed. I'm the daughter of a City Father--by which I mean more a father to the city than to me." But her thoughts took a morose turn. "I should be more respectful. I’ll not speak ill of a man who’s not here to defend himself."
Shiya-coqui, even amid her sympathy, smiled at the young woman's spirit. In this age of the Weaving's ever-tightening web, it required courage to speak aloud as Esperidi had just done. Did she perhaps believe that her surviving parent's influence could keep her safe where others were not? But no: Her timbre implied no sense of protection.
“What is your name, child?” she said.
“Esperidi Mon-Sayquana,” came the slow reply.
“Asperity? Shiya-coqui quipped with a sly smile and curl of an eyebrow.
“Not typically, I like to think,” Esperidi said, “unless you get me talking about Papa.”
“Oh, you're a sharp one.” The old woman’s smile widened in appreciation.
Esperidi probed her with the eyes of a raven temporarily appeased. "Sharp enough to guess that you are, indeed, a Sophryne. The one the rhymes mention: the last one left."
This gave the older woman pause. “What betrayed the fact?”
“You've never been in this city before. That much is obvious. And yet you move and apprehend everything as if testing it against old memories. Your waking eyes soak up the sights as if gauging how closely they resemble what your inner eyes envisioned. And Sophrynes are the only Shaini I've ever heard of or read about who dream so deeply and lucidly.”
“You've obviously given the matter a great deal of thought,” Shiya-coqui said, suddenly reassessing this interaction. Dream memories were beginning to clarify within her inner mind, exposing its hitherto-unseen dimensions.
"I was always fascinated by what they did and learned as much as possible--which is not easy, particularly now. But it always seemed to me that if there's any way the shadows of our time could be addressed, the answers lie there."
Then, suddenly, Esperidi seemed to recollect herself. “I can't believe I'm telling you all this! I never speak thus, particularly not to strangers.” Her eyes widened momentarily as if she feared the old woman might run off and alert the Cordonne.
Shiya-coqui scrutinized her. “Perhaps you speak freely because you sense what I already know: that our meeting here today was no accident but the culmination of many inner movements already committed."
Esperidi veritably gasped. “I have dreamed of you! Now I understand the familiarity that makes me so forthright.”
Shiya-coqui nodded slowly. "You must forgive me for leaving you to discover the fact yourself. And I fear it'll be but the first of many occasions upon which I must test you. Anyhow"--she waved towards the bookshelves--“Did you find what you were looking for?”
Esperidi stared back, swaying with ambivalence. Part of her wanted to end this conversation--she could feel bat-winged phantoms beating at its edges--but her native empathy prevented her from being so brusque.
“I spent most of the last two years here,” she said. “If I want to read something, I know where to find it.”
“You don't sound particularly impressed with the selection.”
Almost involuntarily, Esperidi stepped closer. "I'm grateful to have read some of these books. Most of the others are self-congratulatory. They laud the achievements of our civilization like it’s superior to all others that have ever existed.”
“We've ushered in an era of peace for the first time in recorded history,” Shiya-coqui suggested, echoing Pallides’ line.
“Please don't patronize me,” Esperidi said. “It’s obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that we've unleashed forces that can't be contained or even directed by this order of which we are so proud. You spoke truly, there.”
Shiya-coqui, sensing the necessity for another test, swept a hand along one of the library’s walls. "I have often visited a storehouse of knowledge wherein all this would scarcely comprise a broom closet.”
Esperidi flashed narrow, dubious eyes. “No such place exists. Not on this side of the Partition. Maybe you speak of…oh, but that's his just a myth.” Yet her certainty teetered. “Isn't it? The Hall of Records?”
“I should hope it is substantial,” Shiya-coqui said, “as I've spent the better part of my life helping to fashion it.”
Her young companion brightened momentarily but then seemed to recall her protective cynicism. “If I've learned anything from the time I've spent here, there are some questions for which knowledge alone is no answer.”
“Oh, I couldn't agree more,” Shiya-coqui said. “But what if it was a living record?” She indicated the books again. “What if you could interact, actually engage in dialogue with the authors of these works? Would that bring you closer to the answers you sought?"
“Perhaps,” Esperidi considered. “But then, I think the challenges we face now have no precedent. Of what use are the lessons of the past?”
Then, as if recalling a premonition of woe, she suddenly glared. “Usually, when someone goes into exile voluntarily, like you did, it's a bad sign when they suddenly emerge again.”
Shiya-coqui pursed rueful lips. “I wish I could claim to be the exception. You heard me arguing with your father. I do not deliver such warnings blithely. But in sooth, I came here searching for an apprentice. More specifically, I came looking for you.”
Unconsciously, Esperidi made a series of hand signs: "The Cordonne would never allow a Sophryne to teach in this city! I'm amazed they've allowed us to converse like this for as long as we have!”
Shiya-coqui smiled and, employing the same hand language, said, “Do you remember where you learned to sign like that?”
Astonished, Pallides’ daughter blushed. “I didn't even think of it,” she whispered. “It happened automatically--like my body remembered and didn't need my mind to guide it.”
“What if you're in the midst of another lesson right now?” Shiya-coqui said.
Esperidi whipped her head from side to side, expecting walls to melt, blinding light filtering through the widening cracks. Would the floor undulate like a tempest sea?
“Ahh!” Shiya-coqui marveled. “Look at how many intervening logical steps you skipped to arrive at that awareness. But nay--You worry needlessly. You and I, and all those around us, exist right now in that world that we have agreed to call the ‘waking.'”
The young woman, angered by her previous startlement, said: “That was not very courteous. You knew how I was going to react.”
“Let’s say I hoped. But was I truly uncourteous, I would glean what I wished to know of you by following your thought stream. You do very little to guard it, you know.”
“I wasn't aware there was such a need.” Esperidi appeared wary now, almost cornered.
“There isn't,” Shiya-coqui said. “One of the things you will discover about the Sophryne arts is they're difficult to misuse in that way. Usually, when one has acquired the means, one no longer has the desire. Unlike what’s contained in these books, Sophryne knowledge changes you on the inside.”
She clapped her hands together loud enough to create echoes in the alcoves. “You’ll learn much more if you consent to follow me.”
“Follow you to where?”
“To my home, of course. You said you've always been curious about the Sophryne art. I will grant you your wish. I will train you.” She glanced about as if sniffing the air. “But we'll need to leave swiftly.”
“Leave? What…now? I don't recall saying I intended to go anywhere with you!”
“There's no time for this, child. Come now! You’re stifled in your life here; you've all but said as much. Your father doesn’t support you. I daresay you've few friends. You said you never speak so openly as you have to me. You've been harboring your gifts. Your knowledge and discernment go unfulfilled, withering like November flowers. It doesn't need to be that way. We can nurture them.”
“I may be frustrated with Papa,” Esperidi admitted, “but he is my only family.” She did not add that, sometimes, his proximity made her uncomfortable for reasons she dared not explore. “And the others, they are still my people. I can't--”
She stumbled. Where did her misplaced sense of loyalty come from?
“This city is doomed, child. I speak with certainty. I’ve seen it, and I know you feel it. There's another way. Besides, if you really want to reach your people…I think you have a better chance of convincing them of wonder and possibility on the farther side of the Partition. You have a better chance of convincing them to let go of the old ways that are leading them all to destruction. Better there than here. Here, you can do nothing but wither in stifled desperation.
“This is quite the trap the Cordonne’s constructed. They've created an environment so sterile and controlled that any being with percipience would want to scream. And whoever does so will alert the powers-that-be." Shiya-coqui emitted a low grumble of repudiation. "I can't imagine how you've endured it for so long."
Esperidi became so absorbed in the content that it took her a moment to realize her own astonishment. They’d communicated with hand signs again! How did she understand what all the motions meant?
Shiya-coqui, noting the young woman’s startled comprehension, signed: “You've remembered some more of your nightly lessons, I see.”
She opted to continue in the same vein. "I imagine my first task must be to help you learn to trust yourself again. Oh, it's quite obvious what you've been up to, hiding your light and gifts. Making yourself appear unremarkable, beneath notice, so that your father would pay you no special heed; so he wouldn't try to groom you for his path. Nay: I don’t criticize, child. Don’t scowl at me so. I participated in some of those dreams wherein you worked out your methods of secrecy and concealment.
"After a while, though, such a posture can become habitual, so much so that you may even begin to forget about your light and gifts. Consider: It was that same inner wisdom that led you to choose this hour and this place and to share your plans with me.
“Plans?” Esperidi visibly paled.
“Oh, yes. To speak after your father met with me, and left with his awareness constricted by his own frustration. To speak in the library while the Cordonne take their mid-day meal in the tower…
“And such is the moment in which we to meet in waking. Do you call this all accidental?”
“I call it your planning, not mine.”
Shiya-coqui shook her aged, doleful head. "You see? Much has been lost. If you camouflage your inner knowledge for long enough, it becomes concealed even from yourself.
"Thrice before we've met like this in dreams," she said. She opted not to mention that the recollection was new even for her. "Does some part of you not want to remember? Wherever we were, whatever the circumstances, you beseeched me--forsooth, practically begged me--to teach you. 'Make me a Sophryne!'"
Esperidi gasped. "You must have misunderstood!" What kind of fey mood could have moved her to ask for such a boon--assuming the old woman’s assertion was true? “Oh, I’ve admitted already that I’ve been curious…I’ve gleaned all I could about the Sophryne arts from books….But who said anything about my following a path? I’m only curious!”
Reverting again to hand signs, she added: “This is not a conversation we want to be overheard by the Weaving.”
Shiya-coqui persisted with signs: “For most of your life, I’ve suspected that you carry the gift. I asked how you've endured this environment, but I know where you found solace--on the other side of the Partition.”
“Is that the only thing that's important to you in all of this?” Esperidi asked. “Just finding someone to whom you can pass down your knowledge?”
"Child, the Sophryne lore may be the only thing that ensures that any of us survive. We can't fight these shadows in their surface manifestations. We must confront them in the causal place, wither them at the roots by withdrawing belief and energy. This is something that I can teach you.
“You're appalled by the state to which your people have descended--and by the rules that your father has adopted and enforced. But can you not see that he doesn't comprehend any other way? He aches to take a hand in creating a new world as much as you do, but he doesn't possess your vision.”
“A new world,” Esperidi breathed. “If what I’ve read about the Sophryne way is true, and time really is an open ocean on the other side of the Partition, then you must have had some glimpses of our future.”
“Probable futures,” Shiya-coqui clarified.
“All right. But is that something you would share with me?”
“I can do you one better than that. I can help you glimpse it for yourself. That might even be necessary.”
“Necessary for my training?”
"Aye. It'll likely prove a decisive moment. It will either galvanize your resolve or convince you that this path is not for you.”
Esperidi drew breath and realized, in that moment, how resolved she'd already become. "And if I’ve got nothing to go back to?”
“Then this will help you understand what you've committed yourself to.”
Still flailing, Esperidi groped for her initial objection. “But my friends…”
“A fly can't help his brother out of the spider's web if he's caught in it himself. Come, child! You wrestle with a decision that a wiser part of you has already made. I won’t make you think like a member of the Cordonne. I haven’t appointed myself the custodian of power because no one else can be trusted with it. Besides, our universe has a way of humbling Sophrynes who try to curtail another's freedom. Remember what I said about the web. We each spin our own."
“Sophrynes sound more like artists than priests or politicians,” Esperidi said, warming to that idea.
“The difference we prided ourselves upon,” Shiya-coqui said, “was knowing the nature of the canvas we worked upon. I enjoy, as you say, that aspect of the artistry.
“I can hear in your voice that you equate being an outcast with loneliness,” she went on. “But I tell you, you could fit in here easily enough. Simply kowtow to all the dictates of the Cordonne. And no one knows them better than you, with a City Father for a parent. But if you did so, I tell you, you would feel alone as any hermit, though you were surrounded by a thousand men and women devoted to the same goals as you.
“Give old Shiya-coqui this much of a chance. I've left my horse by the quays. If I've still failed to convince you by the time we reach her, you can turn around and step right back in line, and no one will question you. You can say, honestly, that you just wanted to see an old lady off.
“But if there's anything within you that longs for what I'm offering, this is your one window for action. It will not stay open much longer.
“I'm offering you a way out of the spider's web.”
#
Shiya-coqui led Esperidi to a grassy court flanked by neat rows of poplars that afforded Farsilane’s citizens a pristine view of the city’s central pyramid. The monolith’s six million tons of granite, latticed with ornate designs in quartz, copper, and obsidian, culminated in a golden, house-sized apex, its needlepoint sparkling almost five-hundred feet above the barren plain.
The two absorbed its magnitude--both in terms of physical immensity and numinous stature--in silence for a while. Then, Shiya-coqui said:
“If you allow me to, I will teach you the internal order of events. You will find, then, that you are not easily deceived by falsehood and charades. One has no masks within the dream environment, and once you've grown acclimated to this, the masks of the waking world are a thin veneer indeed.
“Comprehend that internal order, and all else begins to fall into place. Even questions such as, ‘How did our ancestors achieve such a construction as this?’ You’ll realize that everything in your world on either side of the Partition, waking or dreaming, serves as your mirror. And thus, life offers no coercion. You don't look for answers outside yourself because you possess an internal oracle.
“Nevertheless, answers may come to you through the mouths of others. Close your eyes, child!”
Esperidi was so startled by this sudden demand that she shuddered and glared back at the old woman. But compulsion rang within Shiya-coqui’s voice and unwavering eyes, as if to belie her previous words. Suddenly, it seemed to Esperidi that something dire might befall her if she didn’t close out the exterior world behind the veil of her eyelids.
Once she’d done so, she heard Shiya-coqui’s hypnotic monotone reaching her as if from a distant shore.
“Now…You see yourself in a classroom within Farsilane University. But this is a classroom of youth. Lessons that carved your thinking and behavior into predictable furrows were delivered here. But hearken! You see now that your chair faces the opposite direction. It is turned towards what was once the back of the room. Everything you learn now runs contrary to what you were once taught. Comprehension moves in the opposite direction.”
As if responding to unseen and unheard cues, Esperidi opened her eyes and saw the old woman beaming her satisfaction.
“Now, try not to second-guess yourself,” Shiya-coqui said. “Do not try to anticipate what kind of answer you think I’m looking for, and just tell me honestly, what do you see there?” She waved her peacock-plumed staff towards the towering edifice.
The answer came to Esperidi almost immediately. “A weapon.”
Shiya-coqui required a moment to master her emotion before speaking. She swallowed hard through a rising lump. “And yet how can I reveal its original vision and purpose without rolling back the camouflage of time? Such pristine inspiration, which lent the ancient Shaini their sense of joint identity and purpose, requires an immersion into essence. When one seeks such an objective, words are clumsy tools indeed.
“In my grandmother’s time, to gaze upon the Hive Heart was to feel one’s own heart inflamed. It was a magisterial and imposing as what you see now, true, but there was also humor and gaiety in its light. All who looked upon it felt like they stood at the universe’s navel--and that’s as close to the truth of our being as any physical construct can ever tug our awareness.”
The old woman’s raw emotion pulled at Esperidi more powerfully than all of her previous contentions. Under its spell, the great pyramid suddenly appeared to her as the culmination of all her Papa’s mad, imperialistic dreams: a sand castle waiting to be demolished by the waves.
Her response was so visceral that it forced her to compromise without weighing possible consequences. “All right: You’ve convinced me. I will give your way a chance.”
#
Construction’s timbre, subliminally humming throughout Farsilane for five years, was only now beginning to subside. The physical composition of the city had begun to mirror its inner stasis. Nearly all living quarters were of uniform size, layout, and beige coloration. Extending at least a mile in every direction from the Hive Heart (the Great Pyramid), streets, houses, and establishments were indistinguishable. The city's grand design ensured that the shadow of the tall, octagonal tower that housed the Cordonne (to the pyramid’s north side) would fall upon every house at some hour or another on any sunlit day.
But Farsilane's grid loosened as Esperidi and Shiya-coqui drew closer to the western quays. It would be some time before the riverside neighborhoods reflected the rigid, efficient spread of the city proper. Esperidi recalled how Papa subconsciously tensed whenever she and he entered this “unsystematic sprawl,” as he called it.
Its peculiar architecture and composition reflected its residents' tenuous adherence to the ideals of the Cordonne. Some buildings--closer to shanties than houses--wavered slightly the way structures did when transforming timbres were at work. The fact that the transformation was incomplete meant that the residents offered contrary intentions.
Such people had been known to simply disappear.
Shaini vanished. They were taken without trial or even formal charges. Minor uprisings were swiftly stamped out, leaving no survivors.
“Considering the Cordonne’s monstrous hubris,” Shiya-coqui commented, as if picking up the trail of Esperidi’s thoughts, “I’m surprised your father did not merely dismiss me as a crazed old woman. Other Mothers and Fathers might have detained me or driven me forth.” She snorted. “But I’ve grown accustomed to such a pathetic welcome from the civilized world even before coming to this city. It was little different in the half-dozen towns and Hives I visited along the way.”
Esperidi squinted at her new mentor and ascertained the truth behind her words. Shiya-coqui’s devotion to the Sophryne way had so profoundly shifted her spirit’s courses that commoners could discern the difference. She was a stranger, a natural disruptor of convention, a harbinger of tumultuous change. Whenever she moved within human-made structures, their foundations trembled. Even a man like Pallides could instinctively sense the threat she represented.
Soon, Farsilane’s buildings--even the Cordonne’s central spire, which loomed taller than the pyramid--faded behind them. As Shiya-coqui walked, peacock feathers grazed her shoulder, but her gnarled staff seemed more part of her raiment than a means of support. As Osima River’s scent and sun-speckled gaiety reached Esperidi like a water nymph’s chortle, Shiya-coqui led her to a horse tethered near a wide pier. The brown mare had a stripe like a streak of white wash running from forehead to nose. She looked hale and well fed.
“Stella here will take us into the district by the wharves, where the Farsilane wall is still incomplete,” Shiya-coqui remarked.
Then the woman handed Esperidi a stick the length and width of her pointer finger. On closer inspection, it looked like several kinds of dried leaves wrapped and sealed together with brown gum.
“What is it?” Esperidi asked.
“I’ll not lie: It is a narcotic. Something to make you feel like you haven’t a care in the world. You go ahead and chew on it slowly, now. It isn't pungent; it tastes like cinnamon and cloves, but it's strong. Don't worry." She retrieved another stick from a pocket stitched in her green cloak. "I'll be eating it too."
As Esperidi slowly chewed, trying to settle her misgivings, Shiya-coqui patted the mare. "We'll need only a portion of our wits for the journey. Stella knows how to guide us. You may not have felt it, but there are areas where the Weaving is not as strong, not fully formed and tightened. It's an incomplete mesh. This leaves pathways that those with subtle senses can find. Our girl here will know which way to go, and we'll alert no one with our anticipations of the road ahead. Your father may not even think to look for you until he gets home."
As they mounted, Esperidi already felt a warm sense of well-being growing within her, as when a pint of mead settles into the belly on a frigid night, but without any attendant heaviness. Ease verging on complacency smoothed all the jarring edges of the horse’s gait, making Esperidi feel like she was carried by river currents.
For a while, Stella trotted along a shallow bank concealed by lilies that reached no higher than her knees. Then, at Shiya-coqui’s whispered command, she plunged in at a gap in the stockade wall and immediately began to paddle towards the farther shore, a motion that Esperidi found not unlike her usual trot.
At a nod from the old woman, she and Shiya-coqui slid off opposite sides, clutched Stella’s flanks, and pumped with their legs to ease their burden upon her. The mare was in up to her chest now, but she was a strong swimmer, and Esperidi felt how her aversion to the Weaving’s compulsory timbres was stronger than her dislike of being wet.
Once on the other side, the river’s overflow spilled onto a flat, grassy marsh, and Stella regained her footing. Shiya-coqui remounted, and Esperidi followed her example. Stella lifted her head and whinnied.
“Our girl here knows the timbre of freedom!” Shiya-coqui shouted.
The banks were gray clay beneath a layer of sand and pockmarked with patches of yellow tule grass. The water looked deeper farther south, no eddies inhibiting the river’s course for as far as they could see. Slim clusters of black pine thrived alongside both banks. Here or there, a willow or birch luxuriated in the sun, heedless of Cordonnes, Weavings, or Chonnen invaders.
Stella ushered the two Shaini over a creaking, rustic gangway that Farsilane’s Mothers and Fathers had obviously taken no hand in constructing. The trees grew thickly along that bank, but the wood was not wide. Soon they emerged onto brown prairie, which, Esperidi knew, became a veritable quagmire during the infrequent but heavy spring and summer rains.
Her senses quested beyond their accustomed boundaries, redefining her reality with parameters that seemed divorced from any physical signposts. Even her mind’s allegiance to her body began to feel like more of a guideline, a suggestion rather than a rock-bed fact. The sensation pushed her thoughts into unfamiliar terrain, provoking questions she’d never considered before.
“Why do we give it that name: timbre? For the ancients, was it a kind of music they made?”
“Sacred Timbre was based upon our understanding of how matter is the manifestation of idea,” Shiya-coqui said. “Leastways, that’s how early Sophrynes discovered and explained the concept. Every picture our eyes can see mirrors a picture painted with the mind."
She groped for a comparison. “In the dreaming dimension, you see the proof at once, the evidence that your thoughts paint your world. It materializes before your eyes.
"Now, there is what we could call an intermediate stage to this emergence that expresses itself in tones, but as you know, they're not tones you can hear with physical ears. They are felt.”
Over the hump of a small knoll, a road had been carved wide enough to accommodate a Conestoga. The freshness of the hewn stumps suggested that the route was new. Esperidi recalled her father effusing about opening up trade routes with the southern Oskwai who could be placated with shiny gemstones as plentiful as coppers in Farsilane and, in return, enrich Ophia with their exotic fruits and pelts.
"I'll use the immortal metaphor of the butterfly," Shiya-coqui went on. “The butterfly is a manifestation, like a tree or rock. It is like water in motion and placid water, mountains rising and mountains crumbling.
"The caterpillar would be the idea that expresses itself as that wave, avalanche, hurricane, or flower. Timbres are forms that ideas take in a kind of psychic chrysalis. They're transforming; they're being deciphered from their non-physical, mental origins into physical terms. When we speak of root causes--”
She frowned momentarily. “Do you mind if I change metaphors?”
“Oh, by all means.” Esperidi, descending now into a state of utter insouciance thanks to the herbal chew, ended her response with a giggle.
“Okay: smelting. Smelting, yes. Idea is the ore. Let's say it's gold ore. The manifestation is a gold ring. Sacred Timbre is that inner space wherein we melt down the ore and shape it according to what we’d envisioned.”
Topping a small rise, they gazed over a hillside scourged by a recent fire whirl: another extreme weather anomaly that the Cordonne tried to pretend--and convince the populace--was commonplace in these parts. Bare, blackened pine trunks thrust upwards like charred pitchforks. However, the sister hill to their right was still lush and green, and a narrow waterway branching from the Osima River meandered down to a small canoe-shaped valley.
Now Stella pursued the timbre of freedom Shiya-coqui had described across a sun-dried ocean of grass and sand: Virgoda prairie.
“And who does the shaping?” Esperidi asked. “Who’s the blacksmith?”
“Well, we are. We plant our seeds. There, we reap our harvest. Here, in the middle space, we tend to the crops.”
“You do realize you’re on metaphor number three now, right?”
Shiya-coqui grinned in wry appreciation. “And, for the record--not that dreamers ever keep count, as a rule--this is the fourth time I’ve given you this lecture. So, yes--tending crops. We do our work in that middle place.”
Esperidi’s mind skipped over the undercurrents there, feeling unready to face their implications. “And how do we accomplish that?” she asked instead.
“Well, the Sophryne…All right: Do you prefer if we call it the kiln, the garden, or the cocoon?”
Esperidi was visited then by a luminous recollection of her childhood in Sayquana. “I'm the kind of girl who likes to get her hands in the dirt. Let's stick with the garden.”
“Very well. Sophrynes can enter the garden in one of two ways: a waking trance or a dream. There, they can weed the garden--provided it hasn't become too overgrown- or cultivate it, provided it isn't parched and dead. That's the Sophryne art.
“Sacred Timbre specifically pertains to waking life. Therein lies the problem. See, as a tool, it enabled us to bring forth form without understanding or seeing what was happening in the garden. You follow me?
"Only a portion of our being is physical. Our bodies are expressions of consciousness, of what we are in spirit. The historical definition of a Sophryne is someone who has the ability--though not necessarily the training--to journey, in waking or dreaming, to the other side of the Partition. They retrieve something from that non-physical environment for healing, wisdom, or knowledge. All human beings are capable of doing that."
“We're the creators of our lives. Nothing happens to us by chance. There's nothing new about this philosophy. But self-knowledge is the key. We must comprehend the forces driving us. We need to know our motivations, beliefs, and fears. They foretell where the currents of our lives are sweeping us. We can use that understanding to divert the flow.
"And so, each of us directs our lives, regardless of whether we're aware of doing so or not—or whether or not we like the destination. Whenever we blame chieftains or the Cordonne for our predicaments, we turn a blind eye to our power.”
And Esperidi was set adrift for a while, pondering the implications of concepts that sounded foreign to her ears even as another part of her seemed to absorb them with relish.
Towards evening, Shiya-coqui’s eyes brightened as she espied an opening at the foot of a fifty-foot tall cliff. The bare hill seemed to have been gouged by a giant trowel, leaving a jagged face of gray, topaz, and scarlet.
“I’ve camped here once before,” she said, slowing Stella to a trot and steering her onto a sandy scrub pan. “My bones feel a rainstorm coming on, so we’ll be grateful for the shelter of this cave tonight, methinks.”
Looks more like a burrow than a cave,” Esperidi thought, realizing she would have to crawl inside. The opening appeared like it’d been tunneled by a rock-chewing worm the size of Stella’s torso.
“Are you sure it’s safe?”
Shiya-coqui grinned. “Looks like the perfect place for a bear to curl up, doesn’t it? But nay: I’ve marked the place, and animals avoid it.”
She didn’t elaborate, and Esperidi was left to speculate about how such a cave could be marked. She guessed that it was probably by scent, some herbal tincture that had the same effect as an animal’s urine, demarking territory.
Crawling in after Shiya-coqui, she found that the oval recess opened up overhead, at least enough for them to sit upright. Esperidi, realizing she’d have to sleep without a pillow on the scree-littered floor, thought of her bed in Farsilane. Her life there may have been devoid of warmth, but it hadn’t lacked for comfort. The contrast flushed her with the ache of rootlessness, and she suddenly felt that she’d been catapulted into a world that had made no space for her.
As if sensing her distress and seeking to ease it in an oblique way, Shiya-coqui approached her as she settled her head against her pack. The old woman handed her a few sheets of paper and a thin stick of charcoal.
“Once we get to my home, I’ll give you a proper journal,” she said, “but this will do for the next couple of nights. Make it your priority, child. First thing upon waking tomorrow, write down everything you can recall of your dreams.”
“Where is your home?” Esperidi was startled to realize she hadn’t asked this yet. So much had happened in so short a time…
“It’s a portion of the Elmicora underworld. Only a handful of Shaini could ever access it, and of those, only I remain. It was a Sophryne refuge. The entrance is near the peak of Mount Veneer. We ought to reach it by this time tomorrow.”
Esperidi nodded slowly, digesting this revelation. It at least confirmed Shiya-coqui’s stature in her mind. The portals within Elmicora required a nuanced command of Sacred Timbre to open. Yet, a new dimension of insecurity and doubt opened within her. So I’m going to be living underground. For how long?
Records in Farsilane attested that Ophia’s crust was honeycombed with networks of tunnels, some even passing under the ocean from continent to continent, joining her homeland with Chonnen and lands farther east.
The Shaini had worked differently during the Season when Elmicora had been tunneled. They’d sensed the shifts and movements Ophia leaned towards and then encouraged these, forming their underworld’s architecture around the bedrock’s wishes. In the process, they’d discovered that much of the area within Ophia’s mantle was already spacious.
Esperidi’s ruminations conjured Papa’s recent words in the library. “Too long have we ceded the sunlit lands to the primitives.” This general sentiment had inspired the Shaini to begin building Hives aboveground, beginning in places inaccessible as eagle’s eyries and sealed behind doors invisible to those who didn’t know what to look for.
Even the inhabitants of the lush province of Lanore, who traded extensively with the Oskwai, lived high in the Kublai Mountains. Building Farsilane had been tantamount to an act of aggression, a declaration of dominance. “Here is a Shaini settlement you can assail--if you dare!”
Does anyone’s pride justify such risks, Papa?
But Esperidi was asleep before she could imagine his reply.
#
Her last dream before waking was so vivid that, even after she opened her eyes, it seemed to superimpose its lambency upon her tiny cave refuge. She was only vaguely aware of the verdant scents left by the night’s rainfall or of Shiya-coqui’s cooing affection towards her mare. Without once thinking of food or tea, Esperidi set one of the papers her mentor had given her upon a knee, took charcoal pencil in hand, and began writing.
“The earliest entry point I remember was a sand bar made wet by a creek trickling from a cave mouth. I didn't think to pause, turn around, and see the dream’s history unfurl. I was too caught up in wonder, the kind of wonder one never knows in waking except in the most rapturous states. There was magic inside that cave, the promise of something miraculous. Shiya-coqui stood beside me and seemed to guess my emotion. She smiled. I noticed for the first time that her eyes were the brown of rich loam. They were wide with revelation.”
The ache in her back and neck from the night’s uncompromising bed was rivaled only by the throb of her saddle-sore inner thighs. But the elation of dream recall swept Esperidi along.
“Only in dreams will I ever discuss matters of consequence with other Ophians,” Shiya-coqui said. “The Cordonne has too many ears. Ah, look at you, child. I daresay you’ve never known the savor of life in a free realm. But we must make do! We’re free here, are we not? No Weaving carries our words and deeds to eavesdroppers. Our souls are at liberty to breathe. And so--focus! Remember where and who you are!”
“‘But the bars!’ I said. And it's as if saying it made it real, because suddenly I could see them: iron bars so thick I could barely get my hands around them. They formed an impenetrable barrier across the cave opening.
“‘You see? Even here, where we are free of our bodies, we are conditioned by body consciousness,’ my mentor told me. ‘We recall our limitations in the waking world and drag those ideas along like shackles. Remember who you are! Remember whose dream this is!’
“As soon as she said this, I realized I had been wavering and losing self-awareness. ‘Are we to be cowed,’ she added, ‘by what our own minds created?’”
Esperidi paused and allowed herself a moment of quiet satisfaction. However one read the dream’s outcome, it felt like a breakthrough for her, a significant step forward.
“When I regained full awareness, I understood the truth of what she told me. The bars were no more real than anything else I could imagine. There could have been a row of ibises or a trail of rocks across that cave mouth.
“So when I reached forward, guided by this knowledge, my hand passed as easily as through a water curtain. I took a step, felt the illusory bars slide through me, and with another step, I was inside.
“I don't know what promise that cave portended because I woke up as soon as I crossed over. But maybe that's the point: I’d seized all the wonder I could hold.”
When she read what she’d written down to Shiya-coqui, the old woman merely said, “Sit with it, child, and see what it reveals to you. Our road will give you ample time for such a meditation.”
#
The thirsty ground was already drying as they departed. Stella seemed heartened now by her proximity to home. Growth was sparse and seldom higher than the mare’s knees. She required no trail. With a belly full of morning oats, she dove in and out of gullies and leapt over meadow humps with no muscle-tensing hesitation.
Soon, Esperidi was eyeing the jagged mountain thrusting up like a dagger from the southern side of the sun-dried ocean of grass and sand. Mount Veneer was the tallest culmination of the Conhuera Ridgeline, which nearly reached the head of Ilrhea Province, her homeland. Veneer rose to a bald knob of rock reminiscent of a spire.
A path snaked up two-thirds of the way to the naked summit like a stairway. There, they were forced to dismount so Shiya-coqui could guide her mare by hand. The breeze felt poignant, even desolate, pouring from the Conhuera peaks, where no Shaini dwelt.
Nearly two hours later, they reached the edge of a wall of sagging firs and pine. These trees marked the beginning of an ascent that would tolerate no trails. The land was preternaturally quiet, the hills brooding over ancient memories. The two toiled amongst the trees for another hour, the old woman finding paths up and through the silent land. Pines diminished in number and size. The pair rose above the timberline and the air cooled. They stopped, finally, atop a rock ledge that commanded a breathtaking view of the land they'd just traversed.
“We should sleep here,” Shiya-coqui counseled. “Tomorrow we negotiate the path to its western face, wherein lies the entrance. At this vantage, we’ll know of any pursuit. You go ahead, child. I’ll keep first watch.”
#
At first, Esperidi perceived only flames; then, a molten sphere occupied Ophia's heart. Her shell shuddered and split into deep veins; imponderable chasms opened; the sea rushed into every fresh channel; lakes spilled; mountains tumbled over one another…
She saw Hives sunk below leagues of murky waters. Fish meandered through their archways and darted when they saw their reflections in Shaini mirrors. Ophia was sealed over, and the roiling waters left no suggestion that any civilization had ever stood there.
A misty white, winged serpent bore witness to all this beside Esperidi. They hovered together far above the havoc and cacophony.
“Who can say what names will be given to this new land?” the dragon said. “Ophia…she rights herself, seeking balance. Sarpienta, lying coiled at her heart, turns in his bed….
Esperidi awoke with ears ringing, a gulf of unimaginable depth echoing the clamor of a thousand trumpets.
This time, Esperidi had no time to write her dream down or even reflect upon it for long. In dawn’s scarlet hour, Shiya-coqui’s rigid stance and fixed gaze alerted her to movement over the grasslands. Squinting northwards, she identified at least a score of riders in Farsilane military regalia. They were no farther than a mile from Veneer’s feet and pushing their horses hard. Even at that distance, Esperidi sensed Papa’s timbre.
Pallides rode at the head of the wedge.
Shiya-coqui frowned at the scene below. It was the first time Esperidi had seen her appear truly perplexed.
“He came for you himself,” she remarked. “This is startling. I had not assumed…”
“Why should he not come for me himself?” Esperidi asked. “I am his daughter!”
Shiya-coqui’s glance was piercing, with just a hint of reproach. “Let’s not indulge in fantasies about what your life with him has been like for all these years, child,” she said. “If I were to summarize its character in one word, that word would be ‘cold.’ Oh, that may not be the truth of his heart, but it’s the evidence given by all his deeds.”
Esperidi’s expression was equally sharp. “How long have you been watching me?”
“Long enough to know that you’ve ached to run away since you moved to Farsilane,” Shiya-coqui said. “There, you felt your father’s emotional aloofness mirrored by everyone else around you. Only in Sayquana did you have friends. And even there, they were few.”
She drew closer, and Esperidi tensed, perhaps sensing the coming revelation that would smite her to her core.
“But you could never bring yourself to run away, even if you had the opportunity, could you? Because that would rob you of your chance to atone, to sacrifice yourself enough to justify your having lived.”
Shiya-coqui allowed that a moment to settle, then drew even closer. She tried to invest her voice with compassion, but the anger she felt towards the harm the girl done herself lent her voice a steely edge.
“If those bars within your dream, the ones keeping you from the treasure that is your birthright…If they could speak, they’d no doubt say, ‘What must I do to justify my existence?’
“Aye, child: I know why it is you cannot recall the face of your mother except from paintings. She did not survive your birth, and you think it your fault.”
Fat tears rolled down Esperidi’s cheeks. She could scarcely enunciate. “It is not fair that you know…so much!”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Shiya-coqui acknowledged. “Ophia is in peril, and my fear for Her sometimes makes me rash. But what is even less fair--what is an even greater violation--is the harm that you’ve done yourself trying to expiate for something that was not your doing. To blame an infant for the death of an adult?”
“I have to find a way to make up for what he lost!” the girl wailed.
Shiya-coqui shook her head slowly. Now her empathy was plain. “Whichever course you choose, let us hope you never succeed in that endeavor. I fear the worst thing that could befall your father would be the attainment of everything he thinks he wants.”
This, finally, penetrated Esperidi, because it so closely echoed what she had long suspected. Her subservience, her practiced acquiescence to a creed and vision that was not congenial to her, had diminished her and Papa both. Her self-sacrifice had purchased nothing of value for either of them.
She gazed down at Pallides again as he shouted orders to his men. They’d begun to dismount and approach the crag, which was too steep and riddled with loose shale for the animals.
Shiya-coqui intertwined her fingers to show how all worlds were bound, one to another. "Ultimately, it is the power of belief that drives the universe. You were right to feel daunted by all this, my dear girl. As a Sophryne, a Wakeful Dreamer--as a sower of dreams--you are responsible for the welfare of every world. But all beings, if they are honest with themselves, must acknowledge that this is true for them."
She squinted at her apprentice for a moment and then slowly smiled. "I see you have already arrived at one of the most crucial lessons in all of this. To forge these connections requires something more than sensitivity and attunement. You must have empathy. And because you cannot know who you will contact ahead of time--because you can only seek and hope--you must hold this empathy for all beings."
"Yes, I see that," Esperidi said. "This gift cannot be used for greed, hate, or dominance."
"You would meet only with frustration if you tried to exercise it in the service of such base desires," Shiya-coqui said. "This is why the Sophrynes have always been marked by their depths of compassion. Who else would ever want to step into the role? This vocation holds out few rewards for the selfish."
"The depths of compassion," Esperidi echoed; and she felt a flutter in the pit of her being, knowing that even now, her thoughts and energy reverberated on the other side of many camouflage Veils…
Once she was seen, it would be too late for choice.
“What would you have me do?” she whispered.
She was so fixated on the approaching soldiers that she didn’t notice how Shiya-coqui’s eyes sharpened. “What would you do?” the old woman said. “Where would your hear guide you if you heeded it’s voice rather than the voices of doubt and guilt? The voices that say, ‘How can I atone for my mother losing her life bringing me into this world?”
That swung Esperidi about, but for a moment she was too astounded, outraged, and bristling with other, unnamable emotions to speak.
“Aye, child. That voice. The voice that lies and tells you that anyone could ever be your victim. You create your reality, not your mother’s, or your father’s, or that of anyone else in Farsilane--or of Ophia entire. If you really want to serve anyone, there’s only one way to do it: fulfill yourself. So I’ll ask you again: What do you want?”
Somehow, that penetrated the young woman. Suddenly, she was gripped by the irrational fear that, if she could not find a way to speak past the rising lump in her throat, she might never find her voice again.
With a wrench of effort, she turned and faced the rising shadows that demarked the men’s progress, focused on the stiff, gesticulating figure at the head of their wedge.
“I'm sorry, Papa,” she whispered. “You have to serve Ophia in your own way. I must now serve it in mine. May we both find our condign paths.”
“You can help me escape, even now?” she asked Shiya-coqui.
“I can,” the other woman averred. “Is that your wish?”
As if acceding to the weight of the mountain upon which she stood, Esperidi slowly nodded. “Yes.”
“Then I will confound their pursuit with the timbres of fog.”
With that, Shiya-coqui retrieved something Esperidi hadn't noticed before: a grapefruit-sized dried gourd with fire-blackened edges around its stem where its top had been cut. The old woman removed the top to reveal a hollow packed with dried herbs. With an erratic and barely audible snatch of tune, she seemed to coax these contents. Suddenly, a finger-wide flame bursts from inside. Shiya-coqui, eyes now closed, continued to mutter over this flame as if encouraging a living, responsive being.
Soon, smoke poured from the gourd, thickening as it expanded. Something lent it weight, making it sag towards the ground rather than dissipating in the subalpine air. Now Shiya-coqui cupped a fount of milky froth, which spilled about the two Shaini until Esperidi could no longer see her moccasins. The world relaxed its hold upon her mind. Time grew lethargic, forgetting its strident march towards a nebulous future. Esperidi felt the creeping edges of numbed repose that reminded her of the effect of the herbal chew Shiya-coqui had given her as they fled Farsilane.
The fog poured over the slope below them. Esperidi was so engrossed in this eldritch wonder that she forgot about the approaching men. Her sense of ease deepened into profound insouciance. She wanted to float along the white, spectral fingers to some unknowable destination. The froth filled crevices and ravines. The ground was invisible. A veritable cloud descended towards Mount Veneer’s knees, though the two women could still peer up at a clear starlit sky.
Esperidi, standing on the fringes of the fog's influence, felt as if she’d strayed into a waking dream. Concepts like surrender and flight lost their meaning. How would it be for the men down there? Yes, she remembered them now. They strode right into the midst of the creeping, milky tendrils. In moments, their cries filled the lower wood. They seemed to call to one another as if a gulf of worlds separated them. Those still at the mountain’s feet were hurled from frantic mounts. Somehow, the thud of human bodies on needle-carpeted ground was audible even at this distance.
Shiya-coqui’s voice grew frenetic as if she argued with invisible entities. Then, as her chant reached its crescendo, her eyes snapped open.
“There! Let them wander like phantoms breaking an ethereal tryst ‘til the moon is high! Hard to follow a mountain trail when you can’t recall what a mountain is. Oh, try to pierce this veil with your foul Weaving! Come, child! Let’s not squander the time I’ve purchased us!”
Swatting a vagrant trail of fog from her face, Esperidi nodded and, taking a few tentative steps, made her first true concession to her life’s new calling.
Broken Bridge Between Worlds
From Colleen's journal:
Dear Stacie,
These words scampered through my head just as I was drifting off to sleep last night: "I told Starchild, and then Starchild ran off and told the whole universe.” These hospital sheets almost pulled me under before it occurred to me that this cosmic conversation I'd eavesdropped on might be worth recording.
I feel like I know what Starchild told everything in creation, though I doubt any words of mine will do it justice. It's saying, "I am!" with everything within you. It's that moment…maybe you're in love, pausing in the afterglow of a great poem, or you just heard a flower tell you her name when you know and can only give voice to what you know with a yea-saying cry. The divinity within us allows us to awaken each morning and create the day.
Oh, Stace, if we knew that we participated even in the sun's rising, would we ever hurt one another the way we do? Before I slipped into unconsciousness, my whole mind was filled with the sun momentarily. Maybe I felt my kinship with Starchild. I haven't described her because I assume you're already probably more acquainted with her than I am, considering where you are.
She is the light that can never be extinguished. The light that burns within everything we have done, are doing, and will ever do. And everything we have, are, or will ever experience.
The light that can't be extinguished: not by war, suicide, stupidity, greed, racism, hunger, or any other form of darkness. When we want to know how we create the day, we ask that light. There's the place where reason will scoff. But don't pay it any mind; it's just acting jealous.
Obviously, I'm procrastinating here. I've often wondered if you thought this morbid, my tradition of writing you on our birthday. Once you hear how I've celebrated the occasion this year and why I'm so late in communicating, it should settle the question once and for all. But I'll stay downwind of that particular wolf until I find the courage to approach it. Or, failing of courage, I manage to approach the heart of my confession in a circumspect way.
That's why I inscribe these words in ink of blood. Though I like to indulge in the fantasy that you can somehow see or hear these words, I'm really counting on them to sweep my heart of old debris. You may not understand because I didn't start journaling until years after you left. Words unveil what is real within a forest of self-deception. Words are my tight rope stretched over an abyss, my paddles and tiny kayak across a roiling sea.
I write to explore the inner and outer edges of my experience. Where are its boundaries? Or, more to the point, where are the boundaries I accept and thus create? Let me not waste page space--or your time--trying to distinguish fact from fiction. Facts exist within our minds; they change as we do.
We shed facts like a snake sheds its skin. That's right; I'm as much in love with reptiles now as when you knew me. But imagine if we could just slough off our past like a snake's skin. How liberating! And it seems we ought to be able to, somehow.
The words on the page always remind me that the contours of my mind will never fit into any neat package or label.
That's me, Colleen Addison, glorious misfit. On the page, I can transform into a mythic version of myself. Though I'm still grounded in the world of, quote, facts, I feel the creative outcry of a reality that is too deep, wide, and unfathomable to be contained within any realm of fact.
Of course, the same was always true for you, Stacie Addison. It's true of all of us magical beings, though religion and science may condemn the notion.
And so my luminous conscious mind is a candle. I light it and watch where invisible beliefs cast their shadows. Hopefully, I find the strength to laugh when they tell me I'm at the mercy of what I created. I'll watch the distortions dissolve as they're exposed to the light.
This is my script. I take yellow marker in hand and highlight where every doubt resides.
You may be wondering where I learned to talk like this. And well you should, as I've been too embarrassed to tell you about it until now.
I saw a therapist for a while in junior high, a couple years after you died. Mom and Dad insisted after noticing how I'd spend even gorgeous summer weeks holed up in my room. Sometimes, I wasn't even reading or writing. I stared vaguely at the walls, wondering whether I could pass through them, translate myself someplace else.
Had you lived to experience it, you'd know what a field of landmines early adolescence can be. Things you've been carrying inside, unsuspecting, suddenly become too explosive to ignore anymore. The psyche cracks open, and senses awaken to hitherto unknown worlds. Sometimes, that crack even offers a glimpse backward into the magic of childhood, that essence that we adults morbidly long for. We who are enlightened enough to "realize" magic doesn't exist. Who are educated enough to know that we are naught but cardboard caricatures in a barren universe.
But I was really fortunate to find Saul at that juncture. He reminded me of that magic. He held a space for it. I couldn't always comprehend what he was saying--intellectually, at least. But part of me absorbed every word. I recorded our sessions on my phone and transcribed them at home. My dream journal is one of the few surviving relics of my old life.
We'd walk together and make a circle eight around his property. He lived in Sadenport, too, but on the quieter outskirts. For me, it was an hour-long excursion to Middle Earth or the Elysian Fields. We only had a dozen sessions together, but those twelve sessions planted seeds, watered, and sunned them until this world's cynicism could never wholly root them out of me.
Saul was honest and transparent in a way that my twelve-year-old self appreciated. He made me feel at ease even as he challenged me.
Our mother, he told me, was worried that I'd never managed to grow beyond my grief. She also described how you and I had indulged in vivid fantasies--her words. Now, she worried that I was retreating into that imaginary world or that I couldn't distinguish between it and the real.
Saul managed to dispel my anxiety around that question. "This world isn't an illusion," he said, "but it's only a portion of the truth. It's thoroughly real to us while we're immersed in it, but we must remember that it's only a story that our five senses narrate, a work of accepted fiction so dazzling that it's easy to mistake it for the whole truth."
Saul believes we each carry a doorway that opens onto everything we'll ever require for happiness, wisdom, and fulfillment. He said that it's only because we define human nature so narrowly that we're prone to believe in gods, demons, celebrities, Fate, whatever, and give our power away to these things.
He insisted that we create our own life experiences. Nothing is accidental. That inner doorway was dreams for him, and he urged me to write down everything I could recall. “We create our reality there as much as here,” he said.
As you can imagine, many of his colleagues considered him a flake. But no doubt those same people believe that the miracle of our consciousness is an accident. So who's really irrational here? To the extent that we don't believe in our inner enchantment, we don't get to experience it.
I wanted to recapture what I'd forgotten. I wanted reminders of that world I'd forsaken when I clothed myself in this body. Saul helped me forgive my young self for her protective ignorance. If I had known what this journey would entail, I doubt I would have found the courage to take the first steps.
Always existing on the margins of society, I was obliged to search for my personal, resonant truth in the hopes that that truth could become my gift to humanity. Happy New Year, Western Civilization. Love, your girl Colleen, glorious misfit.
And a part of me was just tired of the guilt, Stace. Seriously. I was nine when you fell. I was in way over my head. And who could I have turned to? Mom and Dad thought we were loony enough as it was.
It was a game. How did you get so caught up in it? Why didn't I see it coming? My life up until that point had provided me with no reference points for anything that was happening. All I could feel was that icy sensation stealing over me. The icicle in the back of your brain that doesn't let you move when you need to. It only knows one line, which it repeats over and over again: “This can't be happening. This can't be happening.”
Well, I say that life never prepared me. But Saul believed we've all lived many lifetimes in other times and places. He told me I'd been a healer during at least one incarnation. Now, I try to remember and fulfill that function in a way Western minds can understand.
I wasn't sure whether or not I agreed with him. But the idea was comforting. It suggested that the alienation I'd always felt in this world served a creative purpose.
The doctors and attendants here may never let me out if I say things like that out loud. And I may have to rip these pages to shreds once I'm done writing to you. But this is a journey that involves things unknown and unseen. You step outside the safe arms of your civilization because you sense something lacking there. Something more expansive and fulfilling waits to be found. It's an adventure born of existential unrest.
For me, it was always instinctive. The presence of pain forces me to search for ways to soothe or resolve it.
The lapping waters of what psychologists call the unconscious are never far from my shores. Sometimes, I feel dream reality dripping through the fabric of my daylight world as if nothing stands between the two realities but a wisp of gossamer veil. I had to forsake all thoughts of a normal life--whatever that even means. I'm here to change the world, not adapt to it.
This world needs its misfits. Most people will claim that it's naive to think that creativity can change reality. But creativity changes reality all the time.
And yet, the realms into which these explorations sometimes lead me…Let's just say that many voices of authority wouldn't necessarily be sympathetic. It's one thing to intellectually believe that other worlds probably exist somewhere “out there.” Straying into dream-like dimensions while you're wide awake is another matter.
But this was something I loved about Saul's philosophy. He insisted that the spiritual realm was here, radiating all around us. The soul can express itself in ways that can't be realized outside Earth's bounds. Our inner world manifests as things we can taste and touch.
He compared it to a board game. That analogy confused me at first. “Because winning requires strategy and practice?” "Well," he said, "any game you play is structured around things you can't do. There'd be little challenge or enjoyment in checkers if players could move any pieces however they wanted without even taking turns."
Then, on a whim, he jogged to his house to rummage around for a checkerboard. We laid it on the grass and did as he described, moving pieces around like bumper cars gobbling everything in sight. I laughed the whole time, but I also took his point.
You see, it's the limitations that make things interesting, that create meaningful challenges and adventures. The soul craves growth and expansion, which necessitates obstacles. The basic rules of this board game called Earth are space and time. This should be written on the game box. Players will acknowledge that consciousness moves through a consecutive series of moments known as time and a plane of perceivable and measurable distances known as space. From there, we build our strategies for winning this game, taking for granted that there's “a distance to go" to fulfill our dreams and "only so much time" to do it.
I wrote an apocalyptic story during the period I saw Saul. I stayed up late one night, envisioning the collapse of modern civilization. The pages swarmed with images of people walking over dilapidated highways, vehicles wrecked and stripped, wolves and bears roaming the alleyways of vacated cities.
Saul could tell that the whole scenario excited a part of me. What a relief it would be to wake up and realize that we never had to feed the machine again! "It's too late for us to return to a state of barbarism," he winked. “And you probably wouldn't last long if we did.
“But hey, I get it. I’m excited too, sometimes, by the thought of something disrupting this society so thoroughly that it can never function in the same old way again. Life could begin again in some pure, simpler way, all of sentient life and the elements relating to one another directly.”
It sounded so radical when he put it like that. Like the dream of a sociopath. But didn't that really echo what I had been thinking about?
Finally, I found my voice. “Sometimes, it just feels like the only solution: wipe the slate clean and start over.”
“What if our civilization could evolve?” he said. “What if it could transform without any kind of apocalyptic scenario needing to play out for humanity to know itself and realize its potential?"
Anything is preferable to the way things are, I thought. There I was, imagining that it would be easier to find my place in a post-apocalyptic world than in any school, church, or organization. I guess I took our "I'm-creating-a-world" game to a darker place than we ever did, Stacie.
I'm not here to find myself but to create myself. Creativity is our essence. It's the spark of existence. I've got to accept myself and trust my natural inclinations.
I realize that sounds absurd in the face of what I've done, but I don't want to be special or normal. I just want to be me.
I only lashed out at Saul once during those three months of sessions. That was when he emphasized that we create our own reality in every respect, which means that even death is an individual choice. I don't know who I felt angrier with at that moment, you or him.
Lying on this austere bed, surrounded by blank white walls, I'm grateful for these memories of Saul. I'm glad I had someone in my life early on who warned me about turning to therapists, gurus, psychologists, and so on to help me understand my own inner mind.
Teachers of all stripes often make us believe that the answers to our questions are forever buried. Science is a thief in the house of our minds. Religion doesn't want us to embrace the bloom or the blight, not if either sprouts up from this good Earth.
But thanks to Saul, I have found some dream wells that slaked my very real waking thirst. This is crucial. Without understanding the power of creation, without feeling a connection to something deeper, we'll continue to recognize a part of ourselves in the vampire. Thus, Count Dracula continues to be slain, yet he always rises again. If our lives expand or shrink according to the stories we cling to about them, we should choose those stories carefully.
“Always remember, Colleen,” Saul told me, “that the universe is unfinished. You are taking a hand in its creation while you stand there listening to me ramble on. There's nothing we know for certain about this moment because it has never occurred in this particular way before, nor ever will again. Our growth and fulfillment are that important. The whole universe depends upon it.”
May my stories never become like that fallen tree in Aspen Park, broken bridges of rotted planks. Is it a trick of my memory that makes your voice sound so ominous now, Stace? "A time will come when one of us must go to Cora, and the other must stay behind. If I have to be the one to go, can I trust you to find me?”
Cora. That was the name of the world we invented together. We even had our own secret language to go with it.
You scared me that day, Stace. You sounded like an adult zombie with that monotone. Promise? I should have grabbed you by the shoulders, shaken you, and demanded to know who I was talking to. But that was beyond me.
Anyway, the journal in which I recorded my dreams and transcribed my sessions with Saul actually heralded the end of my sessions with him. My parents got a glimpse of it, and their first question was, "Where in the hell is she getting these ideas? What is he teaching her? That she's God?" They haven't changed much in that respect. They are never really zealous with their religion, but it's always their default when they feel out of their depth.
But maybe it's for the best that I was cast adrift and left to seek my own answers again. Followers need someone to come along and say what's on everyone's minds. But the danger is that people give their power to whoever they believe to be a speaker in the world and then wind up feeling lost if that person falters or fails.
Even as you slipped and fell, did you look to the heavens? Glance down at the plunge beneath you? No, you looked straight into my damn eyes as if pleading for me to suddenly adopt my superhero secret identity, fly out and catch you.
Alright, I'll forgive myself for that outburst, as I think anger is needed if I'm to soldier through to this story's conclusion. Because whether you meant to or not, you subjected me to something I could never have been prepared for. That magic bridge of yours was nothing more than a falling maple that didn't quite reach the other side of the gorge. They never actually removed it, even after what happened. They just planted a bunch of other maples and made a beautiful grove around it. Not very tall, of course; it's only been ten years. But they call it a nature preserve now, and it's all cordoned off.
Childhood destroyed in one screaming plunge. No more feeling myself an intimate part of a river, or of the trees, or of an ant crawling over the dry ground to the extent that I could almost see through all these other eyes.
And ever since then, I've had insane thoughts that visited me from time to time. Maybe I ought to say they invaded me. It's like there's this way you looked, like you actually knew what you were doing, stepping out there. You had a purpose. And for the first time, it was a mysterious purpose. Your mind was opaque to me.
If I returned to that exact spot upon which you'd stood on that fallen maple--if I leaped into the same space you did--would it become a portal, opening up so I could land in the same luminous realm you did? And we'd be together again?
Two months ago, that fantasy reached its mad and cruel fruition on our shared birthday. I hopped the new fence and walked out there just like you had ten years ago. Part of me was willing to test my insane theory. Or maybe I was just looking for an excuse. Everything has felt so empty, devoid of meaning and significance. If I don't suffer from ignorance, I suffer from knowledge. I'm seldom excited by anything anymore, aside from maybe civilizations that vanished 12,000 years ago. But I won't bore you anymore with my archaeology obsession.
Anyway, the universe, that unfinished universe that Saul said we all take a hand in creating, foiled me. It's almost enough to make one believe in the hand of Fate. I saw a little boy watching me as I swayed on that trunk, trying to muster the courage to make the leap.
He couldn't have been older than six or seven. He must have seen me hop the fence and been so curious that he followed me. And then the boy's father caught up with him.
Obviously, I wasn't going to let a little kid see me fall to my death, no matter how badly I wanted that portal that would take me home. I stood there completely paralyzed. All I could think was, I can't let this child see me die; I can't plant that in his head for the rest of his life. It's like his presence cut through all the selfishness and self-deception, and I just stared at the naked fact of what I was actually contemplating. The father took in everything that was happening at a glance. He convinced me to straddle the maple trunk. And I just stared back, mute with grief, as he dialed his cell phone.
That's why, for the first time in ten years, I'm late with my birthday well wishes, Stacie. The misfit medicine woman has been obliged to shelter beneath the umbrella of Western medicine, talk therapy, and rounds of ECT treatment.
I'd heard that siren call many times before. What made it so difficult to refuse this time? If not for that six-year-old angel….
Anyway, that bridge didn't lead me to any portal. I should have known better. The true bridge grows out from our feet, wherever we stand. I'll try not to ever forget that again. And I won't begrudge you for reminding me if I do. But please don't tell me that we don't learn to cherish things without loss, can't know joy without pain, and all that blah blah blah. I've had enough of an earful from the doctors and therapists here.
Not to brag, but I can find the words that lead me to that recognition better than any of them can. Love is the only word that I need to know right now. My universe has been stripped of its sun and moon. But I love you, Stacie. My love for you is strong enough to bridge the gulf between any worlds.
Happy belated, sweet sis.
A Trapdoor in the Spider’s Web
“While we are lucid,” Shiya-coqui said, “we must consider how our message might be disseminated. Now, if I wanted to call attention to a physical location, I’d paint a sign. Perhaps with gilded lettering. If I were royalty--not that Ophia has known kings or queens in a hundred generations--I’d send a crier. Being a plucky revolutionary, I might sketch a few dozen manifestoes and post them all over Farsilane’s streets.
“But here--” She waved a hand to encompass their shared dream environment, amorphous and subtly luminous. “How do we create a sign that will draw other dreamers?”
On this side of the Partition, the woman maintained the image that fleshy eyes would behold in her waking life. She’d entered her twilight years, gray and gnarled, sustained by hardy intransigence that carried timbres of ancient roots, the kind that uphold cliff-grown trees that seem to sprout from the very rock.
Her apprentice was a dusky waif from southern Sequana Province who was on the cusp of womanhood. She'd veritably wrapped herself in the sky--a blouse of a half-dozen cerulean hues covered all but her face, arms, and bare feet--and she'd bleached some of her dark locks the color of heather or cedar bark. But her adopted form already wavered.
“Esperidi,” Shiya-coqui said, “remind me again of our objectives here. Remember: They are three-fold.”
She said this not to test her student but to give her something to focus on, tug at her awareness, and hopefully make her more fully manifest.
“Our intentions are three-fold,” Esperidi echoed. “Make visitors aware that they are dreaming. Suggest that they can be just as conscious now as ever they are in waking. And remind them…that this environment reflects their inner being. They are free to shape it however they choose.”
Shiya-coqui nodded, pleased to see how Esperidi’s presence became more vivid and vital with each word. “And we understand how crucial such reminders can be, don’t we?” She squeezed her young charge’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’ve needed to remind myself that I was dreaming, again and again, during excursions such as these. Had I not done so, I might have drifted out of lucidity before even beginning my work.”
The essential etchings and structure of what many had come to call Timeless City existed when she'd first discovered this place. Shiya-coqui’s chief contributions, thus far, had been to the Hall of Records.
“In bringing you here,” she said, “I repeat a favor once done for me by my teacher. Lamann was demanding but kind. He rarely coaxed or encouraged me on this side of the Partition. He left me free to weave whatever dramas I wished. And so, before long--moments are difficult to count in such a realm as this, are they not?--but before long, inspiration seized me. I focused on some of my most cherished visions until they crystallized into tangible forms. They embodied the timbres of freedom, community, and love for all humankind--Shaini, Oskwai, Manitoh, all peoples.”
Those forms grew lambent and warm, or would be perceived as such by any fellow dream travelers. They were real to her, at any rate. Obviously, what she’d woven--and what she and her apprentice intended to create now--would be invisible to physical eyes. But Shiya-coqui hoped it might shine like a beacon upon this, the Partition’s far shore, drawing the curious.
As if her intentions summoned the Hall of Records from an ethereal backdrop, details of the dream environment began to clarify. A vast space opened above the two Shaini before they lifted their heads to confirm the sensation. They stood in an anteroom from which three library floors were visible. A spiral stairway of flesh-hued adobe was suspended in midair in the chamber's center.
Most of the spacious library levels were filled with shelves housing books beyond count. This was, in essence, the Hall of Records.
Esperidi's view of the Hall differed slightly from her teacher's. She perceived the same immaculately smooth, glass-polished marble floors, but they were littered with debris. This discrepancy confused her at first until she realized what this place reminded her of: the extensive Farsilane library where she had first met her teacher.
Yes, the present disarray nudged her consciousness with playful contrast. “Your eagerness for knowledge,” it seemed to proclaim, “is one of the few uncluttered aspects of your life.”
"That was the impetus behind this whole dream city," she whispered as the deeper implications of her teacher's words continued to percolate. “It was always intended as a shrine to our ideals. Here, we give curiosity free rein without fear of waking repercussions.”
Shiya-coqui nodded towards the staircase. “You sound like you’re ready. Indeed, you sound more focused than ever I’ve heard you. Shall we go prepare some messages for our intended visitors, then?”
Esperidi, still daunted by the immensity enfolding her, merely nodded. But she grew more relaxed once they reached the third floor. It was quieter here. Windows encircled the vast oval space, making it brighter than the lower levels, even though--she reminded herself--this was dream light emanating from a dream sun. For a moment, Esperidi pondered which version of the sun might be more potent. Then she reined herself in, recalling how such questions could whisk her away into other dreams.
Occasionally, other Shaini meandered into the space, most unaware that they dreamed.
"Few ever venture up here," Shiya-coqui said, "and we seek to remedy that. The more obscure books and scrolls are housed along these walls. You could say that this room was initially designed with specialized studies in mind.”
Following her teacher’s gaze, Esperidi was drawn to where a heavy, open tome glowed in piercing sendaline upon a mahogany dais, a feather quill quivering a few inches above its parchment.
“Is that your journal?” she asked.
“Our journal," Shiya-coqui said, eyes narrowing like an eagle espying prey. Esperidi realized this sharp regard was another reminder for her to be self-aware and cognizant that she dreamed.
“Remember what I told you,” the old woman went on. “Fully manifesting this Hall of Records must be a cooperative venture. I was only able to concentrate for long enough to sketch its essential contours. But I have to believe that other visionary architects will come.”
Her desire swept her to the space before the dais. She took glowing quill in hand, bent towards the tome, and inscribed the opening of the “invitation” she and Esperidi had composed together.
“My fellow Wakeful Dreamers! At last, we may speak freely! With heart entire, I encourage you to join us in forsaking the Cordonne and uncovering the birthright they have denied us. Yes, I expect you to rejoice at the prospect! I assure you, Shiya-coqui and Esperidi Mon-Sequana are friends of freedom and friends of yours.”
Surrounded by trilling rainbow luminosity in an ever-changing kaleidoscopic display, it was difficult, at first, to even recall the shadow whose name she’d invoked. But at last, recollections of the Cordonne passed through the chamber like a winter wind in the Sendhi steppes, carrying cheer and effervescence away to polar oblivion. Shiya-coqui felt the Weaving’s web, watching every sunlit movement, listening to every word, recording it all within the Cordonne's mute citadel as if in cynical mockery of this inwardly spacious Hall and its trove of knowledge.
Weaving? she thought. More like a tar pit! The memory made her heart lurch towards all those awake in Ophia and sinking in its quagmire. She ached for her lost community, and for a while, her empathy had to force past spasms of nausea.
“While you are awake, you can only make the oppression of your sunlit days bearable by anticipating the coming night’s freedom,” she wrote. “Out of necessity, you’ve become essentially nocturnal creatures. You come most completely alive while you sleep. So, old orientations reverse themselves. The day is now ‘dead time’: somnambulant existence.”
Purged of some of her revulsion and satisfied with the beginning she’d made, she handed Esperidi the quill. The younger woman felt less certain of her convictions, and at first, she inscribed words upon the dream parchment more to placate her teacher than to satisfy any internal necessities.
"This is the key to liberation: escaping our bondage beneath the Cordonne. We must seek to awaken every night within our dreams. Ethereal bodies are beyond the reach of the Weaving's sticky strands. Here, cripples may cast off their crutches. Runners may elude the hunting dogs."
Then Esperidi paused to freshen her attention. The dream’s enchantment had lulled her towards forgetfulness, and she forced herself to recall that her waking self lived on the margins of a civilization threatened from without and rotting from within.
Already, Esperidi had accomplished more than at any other time during the two months of her apprenticeship, both in terms of the length to which she’d prolonged her lucid state and its intensity. She didn’t want to initiate a completely unrelated dream without realizing it and be left to lament her failure when she awoke. Fear and mourning for the culture that’d cradled her moored her to the pier of her present intent.
When she returned to the tome, her inner voice had loosened. “In this place, the only body I carry is the body of my thought: my idea of myself made manifest. If I study my hands, even for the space of a heartbeat, their images are never stable but always in flux, always becoming.”
Despite her resolve, she struggled to sustain her concentration. Tome and dais wavered, though neither dissolved as physical objects might. Rather, they seemed to pull apart from the dream's continuity and become disjointed moments. After countless nights spent practicing lucidity, Esperidi was adept at recognizing the signs of a dream's dissolution. Fearful she might lose her grip entirely, she returned the quill to Shiya-coqui.
The old woman accepted it and nodded, and the dream hall's contours immediately sharpened. Esperidi acknowledged the powerful pull that her teacher wielded.
“If you’re reading this,” Shiya-coqui wrote, “you’ve already become acclimated to the feel of self-aware dreaming. I’ll assume you’re here because, like us, you yearn to escape tyranny--to vanquish it, if possible. Only here can we plan rebellion without fear of reprisal. So come! We shall explore new paths to freedom even as our bodies turn in our beds. We’ll plot our emancipation. Remember the feeling signature of this Hall, its peculiar timbre, and it will forge an inner pathway for you to return by.”
This advice echoed the approach that she’d used over the years to track down specific individuals within the infinite dream streams.
“Becoming conscious here, we realize that our awareness is not trapped within our bodies nor bounded by our physical senses. We are not hounded by mortality. We are eternal. And thus, realizing that, our fears dissolve within this environment--so long as we remain conscious of where we are.
“Now, you may think, ‘This is all easy for old Shiya-coqui to say. She was presumed dead for years, and the Weaving is unaware of her.' You may consider me too old to care, and indeed, I work towards a future that, win or lose, will not be mine. But my freedom can be yours. My example can liberate those still in bondage. And, as I've said before, we will always be free here.”
The Hall wobbled before Esperidi’s eyes, lurching like a storm-tossed ship. Was she outgrowing the chamber, or was the universe shrinking until it could fit entirely within her mind? She seemed to become an immensity that could not be translated into a finite form.
Nevertheless, she was still self-aware enough to realize what was happening. Her training made such deductions almost instinctive. She had been derailed by an offhand remark that Shiya-coqui had scribbled into the book. A future that will not be mine.
For the first time, the reality slipped past her mind’s defenses. I won’t always have my teacher!
Shiya-coqui continued to write, but Esperidi could no longer perceive the words on the page. Instead, she heard them emanating from a disembodied voice. At times, she even felt them so intimately that she mistook them for her own thoughts. How the message is conveyed is not important, she reminded herself as if repeating an article of faith. We merely have to remain conscious of our intent.
"I know you all live in glass houses, transparent and vulnerable," Shiya-coqui wrote as if she now authored the entire dream, not just a journal page. "Today, you turn within the Cordonne's monstrous Weaving as within a nest of flames, and you ache for liberation. Your soul cannot breathe. You step in time to a beat that moves contrary to your heart. Speaking your mind is perilous.
“It’s strange, in a way,” the woman mused, turning towards Esperidi’s now diaphanous form and tapping the thick tome, “We dreamers revere this Hall so much, and yet the essence of Sophryne lore cannot be reached through anything one can read in a book.”
It was this casual, human moment that finally catapulted Esperidi from the Hall of Records. I won’t always have my teacher, she repeated. I’ll have to find my own wings. And the environment she shared with Shiya-coqui was effaced by a new dream’s dawning.
She stood upon a lip of rock hovering some fifty feet above the crash and foam of waves. She watched the seagulls, envying their spiraling freedom. And Esperidi trembled on the edges of vertigo when she thought about her intention. Her mind swarmed with images of shattering on the rocks. But assuredly, despite this host of fears, she’d accomplish it today.
I had to say, ‘time to find my wings,’ didn’t I? Must I always treat my metaphors so literally?
Grinning, she made three long strides and then dove for transcendence.
It wasn’t going to work. She couldn’t shake her Ophia-bound belief in gravity. It had her; it pulled her precipitously towards a splattered end.
Within another heartbeat, however, Esperidi blinked back to the stone tongue. She recalled that someone had taught her how to do that: she of the scraggly hair, tree-root limbs, dour rectitude, and impish wit. Esperidi even glimpsed her now: a flickering shadow like a bat’s flight at dusk.
The same person or spirit had taught her to recognize the sensation of flight and how mustering the feeling could manifest the reality.
I’m thinking of Shiya-coqui, she admonished herself. Of course I remember her!
She remembered another thing as well: Shiya-coqui’s core teaching. The key, always, was to remember that this was her dream.
Behind her lay the childhood home she'd shared with some five thousand other Shaini: Sequana Hive, honeycombed into a tall cliff whose feet met the southern ocean. The waters were dark and turbulent, ceaselessly pounding against the Shaini fastness. Some of the Hive's openings faced the rocky lip Esperidi stood upon.
The warmth of childhood memory invigorated Esperidi. Yes, she had it now. Her steps were surer; her leap was exultant. She soared.
#
The dreams she recalled upon waking were already interpretations. Her morning mind, confronting visions too expansive for its frames of reference, deciphered them according to its own storehouse of analogies and symbols. But what Esperidi recalled from her night’s adventures heartened her. Shiya-coqui’s silent revolution had been inaugurated. And her apprentice had found her wings.
Shiya-coqui’s home was scarcely more decorated than an Oskwai hut. Hanging hides partitioned the single-floor space into three rooms (painted orange, blue, and green, respectively). They were decorated with two-tone tapestries depicting remote, lofty mountains and deep-plunging waterfalls.
“The surrounding tunnels are thousands of years old and, altogether, could wrap around Ophia several times,” she’d said. “One hidden approach leads directly into an immense underground tunnel, which runs from Lanore nearly to your old home of Sequana, over two hundred leagues.
“Most of the branching tunnels and the living quarters connected to them were made much later. Work on them proceeded in earnest after the threat of Sanjesota and his Manitoh Horde. That’s why they appear rougher, not as glassy as the originals. Our understanding of Sacred Timbre had grown decadent by then.”
That morning, the two Shaini descended a staircase into Ophia’s deeper bowels. Occasionally, a tunnel would become so narrow that they had to get down on their hands and knees. The passages converged at right angles. Sometimes, they were narrow, sometimes wide; the walls were immaculately smooth. The ceilings were flat and, at times, appeared as if painted with a slightly incandescent, verdigris glaze.
Shiya-coqui brought Esperidi into a polished cavern lit by a single glow-sphere. Petroglyphs adorned nearly every surface in vibrant whites, reds, and blacks, every symbol suggesting translation from one mode of existence to another. Though she couldn't translate any inscriptions, Esperidi intuited that they were concerned with entrance--initiation--passage.
Her momentary awe reminded her of the scale of her fragile, mortal existence. Granted, she huddled within a network of caves largely denied the sunlight--except on rare occasions when venturing outside could be risked. But the place was home. The loving timbres that had smoothed its granite floors, bulging walls, and domed ceilings hummed welcome and reassurance. “You belong here,” they whispered. “You are held in the arms of Sorsajna.”
And yet,--while she ate, slept, and studied--outside these walls, a nightmare played out across the land of Ophia. Esperidi’s heart wailed for her brothers and sisters still in bondage.
Sometimes, Ophia’s bruised, caged heart spread before her percipience like a gaping wound.
Everyone who’d once been close to Esperidi in her former life, her pre-apprenticeship days, enacted their daily charades, pretending to be productive members of the new Shaini regime while awaiting the opportunity to seek better answers when the walls of sleep closed over them. All Shaini--particularly those living within the capital city of Farsilane, the heart of the spider's web--stood naked before the eyes of the Cordonne. Except when they dreamed.
Esperidi voiced the question at the heart of this perplexing labyrinth. “How did our lore become so corrupted?”
Shiya-coqui's mouth wrinkled with distaste. "The Cordonne has made it nigh impossible for anyone of your generation to learn Shaini history. But you know that Sacred Timbre, the lore upon which our civilization was built, once allowed us to harness the forces of life--Sorsajna--and create undreamed-of luxuries and freedoms. No discovery impacted the very pillars of our society more.
“It’s ironic, isn’t it, that the keys to our greatest freedom should lead to the severest repression we’ve suffered in our history?”
“Yes, but how?” Esperidi persisted.
Shiya-coqui smiled in appreciation of the young woman’s spunk. “All physical phenomena, as I’ve taught you, are manifestations of consciousness. The art of Sacred Timbre illustrates how the secrets of creation are intimately intertwined with destruction.
“All right: the short answer. We’d unlocked nature’s secrets--ostensibly--but had not mastered ourselves. We learned to manipulate the physical world but forgot the inner processes that make Sacred Timbre possible. A void opened, and the Cordonne stepped into that breach.
“The first Mothers and Fathers probably had noble aspirations," she considered. “They embodied the inner knowledge that most Shaini had lost touch with. But as time went on, their descendants corrupted it. Or else they grew ignorant of its true nature. The two go hand-in-hand, really. This we have all witnessed.”
Esperidi digested this in silence. Her father, Pallides, was a member of the Cordonne and high in their councils.
“But we could have found another answer,” Shiya-coqui argued. “The Weaving embodies the grasping tendencies of those who have forgotten how to dream. And being ignorant of dreams, they can’t understand real power, only control.”
She clapped her hands suddenly. “But why bemoan these circumstances, child, when we can seek solutions? I trust you’ve got some strong bodily memory of the Hall of Record’s timbre now?”
“I do,” Esperidi assured her.
“Good! Then you must return there as often as possible. Every night, at least once. Be alert to any who may have been drawn to the message we left there. And your presence will invigorate its strength and luminosity. Liken this to nursing a cookfire."
Esperidi was unresponsive at first. Her mind roiled like a barely controlled storm. She'd only been learning from Shiya-coqui for two months, but already she'd begun to reassess her motivation for committing to this Way. The terror of the Cordonne, the stifled atmosphere of Farsilane, the mute desperation of her life with Papa, laden with the weight of a thousand things unsaid…all these factors no longer seemed to account for the ceaseless aching in her breast. Something else drove her, something she could not name and doubted that even her teacher could identify for her.
It was as if some essential part of her, which she'd always expected and long mourned the loss of, lay in wait on the other side of the Partition, beckoning. She was homesick for a place she'd never seen, one never even alluded to in all the stories within Farsilane's library.
It was not an answer to her life's riddle. Rather, it was a ray of light, an orb of lambent promise, without which her being could never come to full flower. It sparkled on the margins of every dream. It made her ache like the bereft mother of an unborn promise.
She recalled the timbres of finality with which Shiya-coqui so often spoke of her old life. Esperidi's mentor would not always be here to help her find that luminescent trail nor lend her the courage to follow it. What if she wound up with no real road, only this truncated longing that she was obliged to drag through her hours and days like a phantom limb? If she was the heir to two worlds, if this really was her birthright, as Shiya-coqui insisted, why did she feel at home in neither?
“This game is between you and your own mind.” A woman in a recent dream had said that: a woman who seemed familiar, as if from accumulated lifetimes beyond counting.
It was often that way in dreams. No one felt like a stranger. History seemed to grow up from every conversation, casting roots back into the shadows of antiquity. So, this sense of homesick, rootless wandering was the product of her imagination? If so, what new picture could she paint to remedy it? Esperidi understood better now why many of the Oskwai and even so many Shaini believed in deities.
It seemed easier to follow the dictates of even a demanding god than to try to catch the wind trails of one's own heart. Easier to blame that god than to accept that the obstacle was one's own fundamental inability to choose whether to leap or falter, to embrace one road knowing that it entailed turning a blind back to all others.
Easier to flagellate one's self before an effigy than embrace the risk that one might never recover what was lost--and forever ache for it. Simpler, it seemed, and yet ultimately impossible. Esperidi’s heart could not tolerate such simple resolutions.
How could she believe in remote and implacable overlords of creation when she had so often witnessed how her own thoughts gave birth to wonders hitherto unknown and unseen?
Shiya-coqui can't give me what I'm seeking, Esperidi thought. She felt utterly unprepared for the task opening like a maw of darkness before her.
“But…isn’t this all intrusive? Like eavesdropping?” She was groping for a tangent to distract herself. “Is that what you do when you enter into someone's dream? You invade the landscape of their inner mind and then make adjustments where you see fit?”
Shiya-coqui apparently found the very notion repugnant. “That kind of coercion is unthinkable. But this is a point that you may require more training and experience to truly understand.
“Something like that is not even possible, to begin with. Every being’s inner terrain is inviolable. No meetings occur except via internal consent.”
She waved a hand to encompass the spread of the unseen, sun-kissed meadows beyond the cavern walls and untold tons of gut rock. “I do not own this land. It is shared by all beings of Ophia. If, however, you came here as a stranger and I had lived here my whole life, then surely I would know things about the lay of the land that might benefit you.
“That's the spirit of what my dream interactions are.”
Heartened by this discussion, despite the myriad questions it left unresolved, Esperidi threw herself into the experiential side of her training. She searched for new allies during her twilight hours, hoping to bring them to lucidity. Some dreamers, she discovered, required only a gentle nudge. Others needed a cathartic shock. Some she could cajole and entice. Her artistry, as Shiya-coqui had taught her, involved discerning which approach a particular personality responded best to.
She lost track of how long it took her to establish some substantial contacts. Any estimate would be misleading anyway because her Sophryne work demanded manipulations of time as much as space. Esperidi felt that the Hall of Records dominated her attention for weeks. On the other hand, it might only have been a space of heartbeats. After all, Esperidi had experienced epical dreams within a single strike of a clock’s minute hand.
It was best not to ponder it too much. Connections had been achieved, and seeds planted. She was confident of that much. Trying to translate her progress into linear terms would be gratuitous and wasteful on both sides of the Partition.
The first of the Hall’s visitors to strongly draw her attention was a man perhaps a decade older than her. In his surreptitious waking life, Sanyori Mon-Sequestra functioned as a playwright and actor within Farsilane City and occasionally traveled with his circus to outlying territories. Indeed, he’d been known to perform even for Oskwai, and the majority of productions hosted by Farsilane’s Ambrosine had been composed by him.
His timbre felt flamboyant to Esperidi’s dream senses. Not surprising, considering his occupation. Even his simplest movements expressed lithe ostentation. He flowed like an athlete who adored the attention of a coliseum. Tucked behind his sharp ears and scarlet headscarf, his crow-black hair hung to his shoulders. His sleeveless, varicolored tunic and hose clung to his wiry physique.
Esperidi flushed when she realized how long she’d allowed her gaze to linger.
“You’d better leave that one to me,” Shiya-coqui said, with a coy smile, when Esperidi related the incident to her. “Sounds like he’s honey on the eyes, and that’s bound to distract you.”
“But there must be some reason why Vision pointed him out to me,” Esperidi said.
“Oh, no doubt!” Shiya-coqui said. “Consider: We’re embarked upon a most clandestine quest. Now, think of the tools of secrecy that theater has at its disposal: allusion, symbolism, and idioms only the initiated can hope to understand. It’s a secret language, like the hand signs we developed to communicate ‘unacceptable’ sentiments beneath the Cordonne’s nose.
“A theater production is also akin to dreams in that respect,” she mused.
“The things we do to appease the Cordonne while conspiring behind its back,” Esperidi muttered.
“Yes--but the theater! That might provide a platform from which insurgents could conspire right out in the open.”
Esperidi nodded slowly, digesting this. Modern-day Shaini might not personify the forces of life with images of deities like the ancients had, but those forces still found expression upon the Ambrosine stage. The amphitheater was still Farsilane's philosophical and spiritual center. The Cordonne dared not dismantle it--not yet. And so the City Mothers and Fathers carefully monitored the performances it hosted.
Shiya-coqui, sensing the general trend of her apprentice’s thoughts, said, “Yes! Consider the possibilities: our dream-time communications translated through the medium of the theater. This Sanyori is already practiced in crafting action and dialogue that won’t run afoul of the Weaving.”
“He’s developed subtler ways to make his points,” Esperidi said, recalling how the man had moved. “He conveys his intent with pantomime--gestures and dance.
“Some of the other cast members passed in and out of the Hall, too. Something draws them to congregate there. They’ve learned to recognize--”
“Inner signposts,” Shiya-coqui said.
“Yes! There are clues strewn through Sanyori’s plays. I think he’s been acquainted with the Hall since before you even brought me there.”
“I’m sure of it,” Shiya-coqui said. “But I wanted to wait and see if you’d discover him for yourself. Since your longings run along similar courses, it seemed probable that your dream paths might overlap.”
Esperidi’s eyes widened at the import. “But this signifies more than just chance encounters in dreams! If he writes such things into his plays, allusions that can be heard by waking ears, then some part of him must remember what he has witnessed and read within the Hall.”
Shiya-coqui smiled. “All of us, you see, compose our real-life dramas while we sleep. So take heart from your initial success! See if you can become acquainted with other members of this troupe. See who else might be receptive.”
Esperidi drew a slow breath, marshaling her courage for this new directive. But Sanyori's image tugged at a memory of another equally vivid dream from months earlier: Ophia baptized in fire and water, while a misty dragon with eyes like the wells of time bore witness beside her.
“Why do you leave it up to me to seek the rest of his troupe?” she asked suddenly. “You want me to understand that the key to all this is realizing that I'm moving within my own dream. But any misstep could cost those people their freedom. Why take such a risk?”
Shiya-coqui frowned and kept her head averted. "If you know enough to ask that question, then you don't really require an answer, do you, child? That's earned knowledge. I couldn't have given it to you. You wouldn't have possessed the ears to hear it.”
“And now my inner knowing tells me that Ophia races towards the precipice,” Esperidi said, “and that you do not believe you will survive what is coming.”
Shiya-coqui appeared reluctant but steeled as if a trial had come upon her sooner than she expected. “We can discuss all that another time, Esperidi,” she said. “Why not rejoice in your breakthrough? Celebrate it. There's time enough to mourn when loss has become a reality.”
Esperidi would not be derailed. “You said you believed the Sophryne Way was the only thing that could ensure that any of us survive. And yet you don't believe that you, the last master of the art, will survive to see the new dawning. And so you would invest all of your hopes in me!”
Finally, Shiya-coqui faced her, gray eyes roiling like the presage of a storm. “None of this is what I would have chosen. You remember our garden analogy? I was obliged to sift through and try to find any seeds that might bear fruit. Well, I found one.”
“One,” Esperidi echoed, feeling like she was now obliged to find some way to transform herself into a full-grown sycamore overnight. She recognized what she was doing now and saw and understood its futility.
She wanted Shiya-coqui to transform into a nurturing mother and offer comforting words that the woman did not possess.
Living within the shadow of what was coming, what assurances did anyone have?
Esperidi returned to the Hall of Records over several consecutive nights until she finally managed to engage another member of Sanyori's theater troupe. Rona Mon-Sequin was the most tenacious and proactive of the “dream insurgents,” as Esperidi and Shiya-coqui had taken to calling those who were learning to awaken in the Dream City. Esperidi recognized Rona, having encountered the young woman casually in her homeland Hive of Mon-Sequana.
Sanyori preferred composing dramas to enacting them. He was reluctant to take an active hand in any kind of mass exodus from Farsilane. He was uncomfortable taking responsibility for other Shaini and feared leading them down a path to ruin. Shiya-coqui had her work cut out with him.
Rona, in contrast, was brash and outspoken, and she nurtured a fiery, personal vendetta against the Cordonne. Her husband, Caius, had been imprisoned by the ruling elite for being unstable and delusional and had died in his cell after nearly a dozen years serving an unjust sentence.
Rona's hatred of the Cordonne ran deep, and Esperidi marveled that the Weaving had never detected it. If not for the love of Caius, she might already have taken an irretrievable step across the lines. But what Rona could not do for her own sake--subsume her rage and bitterness beneath an outward veneer of peace--she could do for her husband's memory.
Rona often played the lead heroine in Sanyori's plays, wearing a tan shawl with tapered fringe over a calfskin dress that accentuated her olive skin and amber eyes. Playacting was such an all-consuming passion in her waking life that she often indulged in it even while she slept.
Indeed, Esperidi first encountered the woman in the midst of delivering a soliloquy within the Hall of Records. She gasped as she realized what she beheld: Rona portraying a young Shiya-coqui, who bore witness to the horrid fate of Sanjesota’s Horde at Silane Hive--the first time Sacred Timbre had been employed to wreak destruction and death.
"We numbered some twenty-thousand. Had every one of us been warriors, the Manitoh host would still have overwhelmed us. Tomorrow, we will gather and reassemble the pieces of our lives, but we will never be the same. Our face as a people will be altered, perhaps beyond recognition.”
She flourished and swayed like a dancing flame
“If we were ever possessed of innocence, if there is such a thing, it is lost to us now.
“Sometimes, I wonder whether survival is worth what we've lost. Yes, we have sent a message to every potential enemy, but we have also delivered a message to ourselves: that we can utterly destroy those who oppose us.
“What happens if we become the aggressors and still possess such powers? Will we trample everyone beneath our wheels? Or will someone develop a direr weapon to meet the threat we represent?”
She seemed to perceive herself surrounded by a throng of spectators, responding to their collective timbre of hushed expectation.
“Whenever I think of that day and night of carnage, it steels my resolve to find the inner solutions that eluded us then. Riddles in the flesh: such are the lives of humankind, riddles that must discover their own answers by living them.
“If Sacred Timbre has enabled us to understand the unseen energies behind events, then may it teach us how to neuter violence before it erupts. But now, the light in our skies is dimmer, even as we are diminished. The greatest mass grave in the land has taken the place of our home, and there is no returning.”
Rona was nearly lucid when Esperidi found her, and with a stream of reminders and prompts, she was finally made aware of the true nature of her situation.
Esperidi grinned when she finally caught the woman’s attention. “I see that the upcoming play is on your mind,” she said.
Rona’s enthusiasm for the drama carried her along. “It's been approved for several performances!” She addressed like a longtime friend. “We're calling it Gossamer Veils because to capture its real essence and meaning, one must look behind the curtain.”
“And let me guess,” Esperidi said, with the most disarming smile she could adorn her dream face with. “Behind that curtain is precisely where Sanyori wants to lead his audience.”
“The audience in spirit, the troupe in fact,” Rona clarified. But then her voice grew distant; already, her mind pursued a separate thread. “I have to wonder…Even if we attain freedom, how long will it take us to learn to express our souls once again? They have been caged for so long.”
“Tell me more about this play,” Esperidi urged her, groping for anything that might corral the fragments of Rona's attention.
“Eighteen of us are involved in the production.” Rona’s image, translucent just a moment before, solidified as she spoke. “Most are receptive to what I have told them about this place. Some have even found their way here and read the words of your teacher and yourself. They are all artists, so of course, they are averse to the kind of conformity the Cordonne imposes.”
Unfortunately, Rona's dream whimsy took a turn that Esperidi was utterly unprepared for. “I admire your courage,” the woman said, “defying your father in this way.” Rona had known Pallides from his days in Sequana prior to becoming a member of Farsilane's Cordonne. “It requires a warrior's heart to sever one's past as you have done.”
Esperidi tried to quell or at least camouflage her inward tremors, but her version of the Hall trembled and convulsed. She now understood why Rona was drawn to her. She thought she could piece together the fragments of half-recalled dreams that made the young woman familiar. But she thought some of Rona's perceptions were exaggerated or illusory.
I haven't severed anything, she thought. I'm still pulled down by the weight of history.
But Rona seemed to intuit the source of her distress. “This place would challenge your father’s assumptions,” she said, in a tone that aspired to lighten the mood and set her younger companion at ease. “He'd have to grope for a new guiding philosophy, as we have done. Let him savor the taste of wonder here! Even members of the Cordonne have the potential to awaken. Do you not think so?”
But then she, too, was distracted by a new arrival in the Hall, and she didn't wait for a reply.
A young man in tight-fitting beige formal wear moved across the marble floor, marveling at how each square burst into white luminescence beneath his steps. A lit candle hovered above his head, illuminating arches of ruddy brick painted in ornate designs. He had the aura of a man who'd come here to study but couldn't recall the books he sought.
“He is a riverboat captain,” Rona whispered. “I had hoped he would find his way here. I kept telling him about this place. We're going to need him and his boat very soon.”
“You mean to go through with your plan, then?” Esperidi prodded. But her attention had splintered so severely that her voice lacked force. She couldn't hold herself within the dream environment long enough to hear Rona's reply. Memories of Papa were too strong for her to resist. They launched her along a new trajectory.
A new dream began on a blood-drenched meadow littered with corpses beneath a livid sun. Papa Pallides stood near her on the field's highest hump, a small hillock mercifully covered with wheat rather than splashed crimson.
The City Father was stiff with rectitude in his tight leather tunic and skirt of overlapping rawhide leaves: the favored garb of Farsilane’s soldiery. Though his posture and timbre betrayed his awareness of his daughter's presence, he didn't glance at her. He seemed to address the corpses dotting the plain.
“For every Manitoh life we took today,” he pronounced, “we no doubt spared ten Shaini whom they would otherwise have butchered.”
He may have been trying to reassure her. Esperidi had heard arguments like these before, but the words did nothing to diminish her present horror. Pain, rage, and fire convulsed her dream body, and the landscape mirrored these inner tremors with seasick undulations.
Noticing her reaction, Pallides added, “If ever you'd laid eyes upon a village they'd ravaged, you'd not pity them.”
He sounded as devoid of empathy as a stone, but Esperidi's percipience, which had sharpened during the months of her apprenticeship with Shiya-coqui, penetrated into a deeper layer of his resistance. She saw how bitterness had warped the natural course of Pallides’ life--and, more than this, the conviction that all of life must be this way, that its conditions were brutal, and only the heartless could survive its tests.
Such thinking had driven him through the ranks to finally become a City Father and then to urge the Cordonne to harness the power of Sacred Timbre to meet the threat of the Chonnens, a gambit that Shiya-coqui believed could utterly disrupt Ophia's natural balance.
As Esperidi pondered these things, an entity began to take shape beyond Pallides. She recognized the Weaving at once. One had to train the eyes to detect the subtle ruby veins running through glossy cobbles, smooth carpets, glass, and even trees and parks. Once you'd noticed it, though, you couldn't un-see it. Suddenly, you were aware of its ubiquitous presence, like an eye forever hovering just over your shoulder, pulsing, obsessed with your every move like a love-struck stalker.
It tracked the rhythms of one's emotional life as much as one's physical steps.
Recalling the sensation of flight she'd achieved in previous dreams, Esperidi slowly conquered the fear that had so often smothered her voice when she'd tried to argue with Papa in waking.
“Why must these always be the choices we're presented with, to take life or to lose it? Where is the love that ought to fill the spaces between us?”
“You overtax your mind,” her father said. He still wasn’t looking at her. “You aim to cure ills that have attended humankind since its infancy. Dreaming so loftily will only set you up for a devastating fall.”
Esperidi was too distracted to respond. She gasped as the Ambrosine Theater, which she'd passed countless times during her walks in Farsilane, superimposed itself over her fading visions of the Weaving.
It appeared just as it did to her waking eyes. The Ambrosine's design took advantage of its enclosure's natural terraces, which descended almost to the banks of the Saline River. The walls and steps mirrored the composition of Hive walls, interweaving veins of quartz, obsidian, copper, and gold latticing the granite.
In non-Shaini hands, such a construction would have provided terrible acoustics, but the seating area, stage, and dome had all been formed with Sacred Timbre. The stonework remembered its birth in song, sure as it recalled the rich heritage of plays, many now banned, that it'd borne witness to.
Those banned plays existed now only within the Hall of Records.
The main bulk of the stage described a half-circle some twenty meters at its widest point, which afforded even those spectators in the wings--for the open-air auditorium formed a similar arc--a clearer view of the drama. Granite globes perched on both sides bathed the night performance in a warm lime-yellow glow when fed with the timbres of lambency. Fifteen tiers of seats could host five hundred Shaini.
Pillars shimmered like mirages behind the stage, supporting a wooden festoon from which curtains hung, dividing the rear space into two dressing rooms and a storage area for props.
Esperidi marveled at how many details that she hadn't witnessed before now revealed themselves with the certainty of Vision. Behind the divisions, a flight of stone steps shaded by olive trees led to a causeway that ran parallel to the river until it reached the quays.
But the stage and seats were empty.
“It's been more than a year since a performance was held at the Ambrosine,” Pallides remarked as if the theatre's appearance was commonplace. “Contemporary writers seem incapable of composing plays that are appropriate for viewing.” He shrugged. “But I never cared much for theatre anyway. To my ears, most of it rings of melodrama. Why bemoan suffering when suffering can be eradicated with knowledge and application?”
But Esperidi was spurred by her recognition of the heart warmth that pulsed beneath Pallides' caustic shell, though she'd seldom witnessed it. She stepped closer, grasped his shoulders, and forced him to face her.
Papa was too startled, at first, to resist. “But knowing that my dreams might be unattainable,” Esperidi said, “does nothing to diminish their fire. I know that it lies within us all, the capacity to make Ophia a wise and loving place.”
She appeared to him in a heavy, sky-blue shawl draped over a blouse of comparable color and thickness--despite the one she often wore in waking, this version covered her arms--and she wondered at the vague uneasiness that caused her to adorn so many protective layers. But Pallides’ incredulous expression only made her voice ring louder. “Why does love burn within us if its fulfillment is forever impossible? How can we say that harmony can't be achieved simply because we haven't done it yet?”
In this way, Esperidi Mon-Sequana uncovered the true passion underlying her decision to learn the Sophryne way. She awoke with eyes and cheeks damp, gasping as if emerging from deep waters.
#
She and Shiya-coqui often spent their early afternoons sitting on rush-woven chairs in the largest of the network's caverns, sipping jasmine tea. The central space was dominated by a copper orrery the size of a house with two dozen wooden globes representing planets and moons, the largest of which Esperidi couldn't wrap her arms around. They’d settled into a loose routine of comparing progress on their separate dream fronts during their midday break from study, training, and meditation.
“You do me proud, child,” Shiya-coqui said when Esperidi related her latest dream experience. “Few, in or out of the dream, could find the courage to confront a Cordonne Father, and considering that this one is your own flesh and blood…”
Esperidi winced at this echo of Rona's words in the Hall of Records. It sparked an unsettling insight. “Rona says she's seen Cordonne members actually peruse the dream journal.” Then she bolted to her feet so violently that the table shook, nearly overturning her bowl of dried fruits and nuts. “Oh, you don't think any of them will realize its true nature, do you?”
Shiya-coqui threw back her head and guffawed as if she'd not heard such a rich jest in an age of the world. “Realize it and do what? Storm into the next Cordonne assembly and shout, “The populace plots its emancipation while it sleeps”?
But other memories prevented Esperidi from sharing her mentor’s humor. “The Cordonne put Rona's husband away for instability…”
“As they will anyone these days who overthinks where they are or compares it to where they wish to be,” Shiya-coqui said. “That's why we've never dared lay plans in waking. Nay, no member of the Cordonne will dare speak of that tome, should they remember it. They can't admit that their dreams have points of commonality with ours.
“Think of it! All of Ophia bowing down before an edifice that no one actually wants!”
“Have you made any progress with Sanyori?” Esperidi asked, feeling vaguely disturbed by her own forays and wanting to set the memories of them aside.
“I have, Shiya-coqui said, a bit noncommittally. “Initially, I only observed him, never allowing myself to be seen. His first moments of self-aware dreaming happened spontaneously.
“I didn't prompt him, but such incidents occur more frequently and for longer now that we've gotten acquainted and have begun composing the script for Gossamer Veils. It's verily an instructional for self-aware dream adventures when viewed from the far side of the Partition.”
She smiled wryly. “It's a relief for me, at least, that his mind isn't so often derailed nowadays.”
“Derailed by what?” Esperidi asked.
“What does any man want when he suddenly realizes he has unhindered freedom? Erotic fantasies, child Sanyori would become lucid and immediately realize he could fulfill all his desires. That idea would drive out all other ambitions.
“Anyhow, I've spent weeks teaching him: first, how to awaken, and secondly, how to keep his mind on the task at hand once he'd done so.
“He and I have been collaborating on the play.” Her voice now carried a timbre of grudging admiration. “Sanyori wants to make his exodus, but he also wants to leave some parting reminders for those who will remain behind. We've agreed to teach them some of the history the Cordonne has forbidden. It’s a cruel subject: Sanjesota’s Manitoh Horde and their awful fate. I witnessed that event as a child.”
“Yes, I know,” Esperidi whispered, recalling that crimson acre of corpses, many of them Shaini. “And I dreamed of Manitohs slaughtered,”
Shiya-coqui nodded slowly. “Interesting that it was Manitohs, and yet your father was there--he being the chief strategist in this new conflict brewing with the Chonnens. Perhaps it’s meant to underscore how most Shaini have learned nothing from the Manitoh massacre and now must repeat the atrocity.
“But a century ago, we were a complacent nation too smug to realize the threat growing up around it. Ponikawa Hive was razed by Sanjesota before the rest of us realized the true extent of our danger. Then we were ruled by fear and rage.”
Esperidi winced. She’d read about the conflict in Farsilane’s library. It was a historical account that the Cordonne permitted, as it ostensibly “explained” the harsh measures they’d enacted for the sake of peace ever since that day.
Silane Hive had feigned defeat, retreating into the catacombs beneath the mountain. They'd waited until the main part of Sanjesota’s Horde was inside the walls. Then they employed Sacred Timbre, sealing the doors and awakening latent fires within the gut rock. Thousands of Manitohs had slowly baked like clay in a kiln.
Shiya-coqui's eyes sharpened. Perhaps she sensed her apprentice straying into disconsolate thoughts. “You've achieved a personal victory,” she said, “but how have you fared with the others in the troupe? Do you yet pass one another like strangers?”
“Rona is the only one I can communicate with,” Esperidi admitted. “She seems to recall what passes between us. As for the others… Some are undisciplined and difficult to reach. Some encounter me in the Hall without ever realizing that they're dreaming. And then there are those who are lucid throughout their interactions with me, but they wake up with no knowledge of the conversations that we've had.”
“This is a process of slow accretion,” Shiya-coqui said. “But I believe it's time you corralled them. The Ambrosine performance, after all, is less than two weeks away.”
“How do you propose I corral them?” Esperidi asked. “Have you got to cowbell stashed in the Hall of Records?”
Shiya-coqui measured her. “You found your wings, didn't you? Surely, now you can find your voice.”
Esperidi squandered three nights, trying to find Rona again. She tried to focus her attention like a white-hot pinprick on the woman's visceral timbre. But she awoke each time with only the vaguest impressions of what she'd been involved with across the Partition.
On the third such morning, she opened her eyes to see Shiya-coqui bending over her bed, eyes intent.
“Would it help if I told you how the performance goes, at the Ambrosine?” she said.
Esperidi shook dreams from her head like the remnants of disintegrating garments. “But the performance is still more than a week away!”
Shiya-coqui chuckled. “Already you forget my little lecture about time?”
Esperidi glared at her. “You have told me more than once that you can't know for sure whether Shaini forces will attempt to destroy the Chonnens crossing the land bridge or, if they do, whether Ophia will respond with cataclysms. So you can't see an event before it's happened, obviously.”
Over the last few months, she’d learned to recognize Ophia's distinctive timbre. Once Esperidi had that firmly fixed within her consciousness, she could withdraw her focus and experience independence from her physical body. She was, theoretically, free to travel anywhere so long as she had a firm grasp of her bearings and destination.
The key was to feel the essence of a place, the nameless quality that could not be accurately described but only felt. But Esperidi had never considered it possible to actually swim against the currents of time.
“That's true,” Shiya-coqui acknowledged. “I can't see it, but in this case, it is such a strong probability, nearly crystallized, that I perceived its shadow.”
She frowned for a moment, struggling for a way to describe a host of intangibles. “Think about what it's like when you travel. As you leave Ophia, you pass through layers of actuality. They become less and less substantial as you move. Now, the layer closest to us, where things feel foggy or dreamlike, is an almost manifest dimension.
“If you look at your chair there, it may appear to you just like the one you're sitting on, except for small details or a discoloration. It might flicker. That more ethereal place is nearly tangible. The vibrations have formed structures just on the verge of becoming physical. It is on that level that I witnessed Sanyori’s play-to-be. And oh, your Rona does my young self justice!”
She swiped a hand slowly across her forehead as if the gesture was high drama. Then she winked. “Always, my objective is to challenge your beliefs about what is and is not possible.”
Esperidi did not respond. She's pushing me hard, she thought, and she knows it. Sometimes, she felt like a decade's worth of Sophryne training had been packed into the last four months.
Shiya-coqui is relentless because she doesn't believe she has much time.
Shiya-coqui ceased her twirling and swiped her damp cheeks. The cruel memory of a century ago was as insistent as the morning. “It was an evil day that Ophia should not have witnessed once. That such an ill could repeat, as if we’re all incapable of learning from it…It’s appalling.
“But, concluding the play, Sanyori turns and leads his troupe of actors--and even a large portion of the audience--down the back stairway towards the river, never to return.” She brightened at the recollected vision. “The remaining spectators watch, believing this is all part of the play. And the troupe flees in the cargo hold of a riverboat, packed in with its usual crew. Aye: Old Shiya-coqui is not the only one potent in the timbres of fog. Sanyori hides the craft, and with the timbre of mobility, Rona speeds them northward. They will settle the snow-swept northern steppes, a region where the Weaving's strands do not reach.
“Sanyori and his followers embark onto a place wherein they might govern themselves--with all the risk and reward this implies. What more could a band of eccentric outsiders hope for? We can’t even say that they violate Ophia’s guiding ideals. After all, their ‘revolt’ doesn’t spill a single drop of blood.”
She glanced down at Esperidi again, her eyes brimming with empathy. “That is one strong probability--an event that still could be. It requires only one thing to focus it into manifestation: for you and Rona to speak, and thus serve as its catalyst.”
#
When she finally succeeded in tracking Rona down, Esperidi feared she'd trespassed upon sacred ground. The woman stood before a man who Esperidi intuited at once had been her husband in his last physical incarnation. Caius.
Esperidi had often dreamed of the deceased. Here, on the other side of the Partition, they lived on. This place knew no slow decay of time. Mortality was forgotten. And so Rona had found her husband in a meadow where the sun sat low but did not hurt her eyes.
All is mutuality within the heart of Sorsajna, Esperidi recalled Shiya-coqui saying. There's no imposition, no assertion. But she couldn’t wholly shake the sense that she was intruding.
Everything we see resonates with what we are. Is this what drew Papa to me in my last dream of him? she wondered. Does some of my idealism still burn inside of him?
Galvanized by the sting of that memory, she called out.
To Esperidi's astonishment, the man turned towards her and smiled. He seemed to acknowledge not only her presence but also its meaning and purpose. Rona, however, was as oblivious as if she and Caius were the universe’s sole dreamers.
Caius’ love shone upon her as he gripped his former wife's shoulders. “Stop for a moment,” he said, “and realize that you can come awake. This is your dream.”
At first, the momentum of the narrative she'd already begun swept Rona along. “I scarcely know what to say. This plan began with Sanyori. He-- Wait, what was that you said just now?”
“Realize, my love, that you're awake in your dream.”
This time, the words penetrated Rona. She paused and became self-aware in that crucial moment of reflection. She recognized the man who stood before her and felt how much he meant to her. And at the same time, she understood the necessity of touching upon this with delicate mental fingers.
“Oh, Caius, my love! There's something I have to do. It tears me inside to say it, but I have to leave you for a while.”
“I know you do.” His smile never wavered, nor did his grip on her shoulders. “Don't torment yourself. We have all the time in eternity. Yours will be the first generation to know true freedom since before your grandfather's time. Remember that. And you will savor its timbre like few Shaini ever have.”
And so, her heart near to bursting in her chest, her Caius's shade tugging at her like a siren call from some far and mournful shore, Rona passed through several dream transitions to arrive beneath a grand archway that signified for her the entrance to the Hall of Records.
Esperidi trailed her like a bat's shadow. If she can only hold her focus, she thought. She'd not yet awakened to the “real world”. Therefore, its remaining hours might not be wasted.
Suddenly, Rona turned her head and acknowledged Esperidi. Her dream body was more substantial now as if it had discovered the courage to fully manifest and announce its right to be.
“I know who you are now. You are no stranger. But I have trouble remembering our errand.”
“This is the Hall of Records,” Esperidi told her. “The place where we've met before. There are things that you and I want to say to the rest of your troupe and even to all of Ophia--to anyone who finds their way here.”
“Yes!” Rona's ethereal body brightened from the force of her excitement. “We must declare our purpose.”
For a moment, her timbre reached an urgent crescendo. She seemed to forget her companion again.
They approached the now-visible journal. This time, no books adorned the walls, but hundreds of rolled scrolls filled the ceramic vases along their circumference. When Rona reached the dais, she grasped the quill to begin inscribing the Declaration of the Free Peoples of Ophia upon the dream tome.
She momentarily turned to Esperidi, who nodded in affirmation and encouragement. Then Rona began setting down the ideas that had been percolating within her since they’d first met in that hall weeks before.
“I am Rona Mon-Sequin, actress and agitator. For long years, I've beheld this silent war between the citizenry and the ruling Cordonne in the place we now call New Ophia. But here, within this dream space, the real battle is being fought: a conflict between those who fear freedom more than they long for it and those who long for freedom more than they fear it.
“The time has come to express in our waking lives what we have lived, learned, and dreamed here. Our vision is crying out for utterance. We had to learn how to dream consciously. Now, the dream finds its voice.
“We know that the Weaving diminishes us all. Our continued reliance on it expresses our fundamental distrust of human nature. Surely, we can grow beyond this.
“I am grateful to have spoken with the spirit of my Caius before coming here. He reminded me of something I'd almost forgotten. We cannot serve love with hate nor reach freedom through violence. How potent is it when such a lesson comes from a man who was persecuted unto death by the very forces that we oppose now?
“The Cordonne courts eruptions to beggar any earthquake. Can any sane argument be raised in favor of our ability to corral the very forces of life? Nay, those walls cannot hold. But we who congregate here and are inspired by these words know that miracles can occur even when the elements needed for their fulfillment seem not at hand. We change our beliefs about what's possible, and new doors open. Our hearts are connected with the soul of Ophia, and so our healing is the world's healing.”
There, she faltered and looked uncertain for a moment. But Esperidi, inspired by her friend's example, stepped up beside her at the dais and reached for the quill.
Rona proffered it gratefully, and Esperidi began to write.
“I've often been told that I am naive to think that the Sophryne lore could become accessible to everyone and that we can know peace and harmony through knowing ourselves.
“But Ophia has witnessed epochs when light was prevalent in this way. It is not innate in us, this desire to make war and oppress others. Such circumstances grow out of a misunderstanding of our own being. Knowing our creative power, we would never covet what others possess. When our minds encounter their source, reverence for all of life is an inevitable outgrowth.
“In this moment, the script constantly swims on this paper’s surface, and I can't keep it still within my field of vision. No matter how I squint, lines and curves cavort with one another, refusing to settle into stable rows. Is this not how it feels to try and hold to one's desire for peace amid turbulence?
“But I cannot afford self-doubt. None of us can. One needs no surer testament than the creation of the Weaving to know that despair has long been more potent than the forces of optimism and vision within Ophia.
“None of our citizens--veritable prisoners now--have been able to muster the timbre of freedom with enough strength to attain it. Under the Cordonne's yoke, many Shaini have forgotten that there is such thing as power of choice.
“The time has come for us all to remember!”